[sveltskye]

I met this guy on a dating site for my college about a month and a half ago and we were getting to know each other really well for a while. We talked on the phone for hours and hours and we knew that we were attracted to each other and liked each other's personalities. We shared a lot of personal details and I really felt like I was getting close to him as a friend and I expected more but he kept mentioning that he had "emotional complications" involving, among other things, an ex girlfriend. He wouldn't, and hasn't told me specifically what these are. Also, when we were together, he gave off kind of mixed signals as to whether he was really interested: for example, he never asked me on a date, but flirted with me at times when I saw him at this club we were both interested in.

So one day my friend went to a practice he was at and I went to a club and he was invited. He was going to go but then someone said something like "yeah, you should go, because you're seeing her, aren't you?" and he decided not to go. So I called him up and asked whether he liked me or not and he said he wanted to be just friends for now, brought up his emotional issues and that I needed more commitment than he could give right now and he wouldn't want to hurt me and stuff like that. I told him that if he was serious about being friends he should call me and he did later that week. When we talked I told him that I was trying to see other guys and he treated it like he was one of my girlfriends, he was like "I'm down for girl talk". I have no idea what that means, maybe he's really not interested in me at all anymore if he's wishing me on other guys.

Now I'm trying to distract myself and see other guys but I still really like him and I'm having trouble moving on since he didn't outright reject me. I don't even know if I should have any hope for anything happening in the future. I feel kind of bad because I think I was too brash and killed any possibility of taking it slow and letting him work out his issues. Now I'm afraid the whole friendship thing will be awkward. I feel like our whole getting to know each other in person period was cut off because we mostly only got to talk on the phone, but I don't know how much effort I can put into hanging out and being friends with him without torturing myself. I'm afraid that we're going to end up not being friends at all if I ignore him completely. I miss talking to him but now I feel like it's bad for me to call him. How much space should I give?

[Sandra3]

I think you should tell him how you feel if it bothers you that much and you can't see other people beceuse you still lik him

[sveltskye]

i think you should tell him how you feel if it bothers you that much and you can't see other people beceuse you still lik him

Thanks for the suggestion. The only thing is that I pretty much made it clear that I liked him (I might have said "I really like you" I can't remember) and it made him back away more, so I don't want to press the issue. I know I need to give him space. I just don't know how much to give, if I should work at keeping up the friendship- do stuff like call him and ask him to hang out- or just leave him alone and let him call the shots.

[ceriphante]

Seriously ignore him for about 3 months then see if you still think of him :)