[pinkstardust180]

Me and my boyfriend have been dating for a yr and a half, where not ready to get married now but he wants to wait until he graduates from college, which I know is smart cause his parents won't pay for school if he's married, which is normal. But that's about 4 more years from now, and I want to get married, what's the point in waiting when we both know that were going to get married, and besides that this is suppose to be the time of your life, but I don't want to be single and neither does he.

[victoria_mitchell]

My boyfriend Kodi and I want to get married very baddly too. But I have chosen to wait for 3 years and at first people (including my boyfriend and relatives) were like "Why wait if you know you're going to do it." I wanted to wait until we both had really good jobs, were out and done with school and could afford our own house plus I didn't want to get married before I was 21.

If it's going to happen it's going to happen so why rush it anyway? If you both know it's going to happen then you know it will eventually happen so why does it have to happen now?

[Clough]

I like the above answer. At your age, and with schooling going on and with the changes that will without doubt be happening in each of your lives as you both try to carve out your individual niches in life, it is best to wait. I'm sure that you would want your marriage to start on solid rather than shaky ground on all points. Wouldn't you want that?

[lacuran8626]

Think about why his parents won't pay for his college if he's married. They don't feel he's ready. As well as you know him, they know him even better in some ways (not all, but some). They want him to have this time to focus on his education and starting his career, and to have an unrushed progression in life - to marry when he's educationally and financially ready to take on that commitment.

They want him to marry someone else who has had the good sense to do the same - get a college education, get financially settled, have an opportunity to settle into being an adult, and then move into marriage without creating family upset on either side.

Marriage lasts a lifetime - you can date exclusively in the meantime and learn even more about one another. Take the years until he is ready to learn the key things about each other that will contribute to a successful marriage - consider getting counseling from your church to determine if you are in agreement on things enough to continue on the path toward marriage, and if not, take this time to work on those issues and see if you can resolve them. Learn how to manage money separately and together. Make sure you both have the means to support yourselves, that you both have reliable cars and homes, and so on. If you do this before you are married, you will protect the success of the marriage because these are the issues that typically cause divorces - even among people who love one another. YOu would be surprised how many people love their ex-spouses but because of these issues would never consider being married ot them again!