[sadwifeofaj]

Hi there,
My husband goes out with friends to play poker or otherwise 3-4 times a week.
We have a 10 month old son and I feel ignored when he does that so often.I don't have such gfs whi can give me company.Even when he was on vacation he liked to chill out with friends. I have no problem him doing that once a week or so.
But if I tell him to take me out somewhere he doesn't have time for that and says he's tired or says he'll do it next weekend which never comes.
Does all this mean that he doesn't like my company anymore or am I being too selfish?

Please advice as this is taking over my life!!

[grammadidi]

Is it possible that your husband has a gambling addiction? If not, then I think you need to sit him down and tell him exactly how you feel. Tell him that you have no problem with him going out once a week, but your marriage and the baby must be more important than his going out. I don't think you are being too selfish. You two should be concentrating on building your relationship and family life together. If he wanted to be out 3 or 4 times a week, what did he get married for?

Just my honest opinion...

Hugs, Didi

[LettuceBFrank]

You are not being selfish and I don't think that this means that he doesn't like your company anymore (obviously just an assumption because I don't know him... )

Every good marriage is about balance and what is required to keep things balanced changes as time goes on.

Here's a few things that you might want to try:
-Plan a romantic evening for your honey and remind him what he's missing.
-Tell him how you feel about him, you miss him, you love him (follow your heart... )

-Plan ahead... If he's hanging with the guys 3-4 nights a week, that leaves 3-4 nights free for at least one of them to be designated as "date night/family night" or whatever floats your boat.

Resist the temptation to ask him not to hang out with his friends so much. Although this may seem reasonable and logical to the rest of the world, you run the risk of him interpreting it as you asking him to give something up.

You catch more flies with honey than vinegar... in time he'll make the change himself.

Last but certainly not least, get some girlfriends! Check out groups like "Mommy and Me". If you have the opportunity to get some time to yourself, get a massage, check your local resources for activities you might enjoy, get a low maintenance hobby, etc... I hear that knit and circles are making a come back:)

Good Luck:)

[Suseelan Sadasivan]

Hi ,

The problem you are facing is a universal one. I am assuming that you have been married , maybe for a year or two only.( Baby ten months old ).
It is just a case of your husband hanging on to his Bachelor Days Ego syndrome. That is either , his friends are all bachelors , to whom he is trying to prove that he is the BOSS, and not tied down to the skirt.

Here is what you can do :

1) Get to know his friends ?
a) If bachelors get to know their girlfriends
b) If married then the wives.

2) Get to know the wives/ girlfriends. How are they taking this 3 to 4 days poker games?

Form a club .Work out a schedule , where the Bachelor poker games get scheduled at your respective places.Instead of outside.

Talk to his friends , and invite them over.
Over a period , he will prefer to stay, home and be with you and kid.

God Bless.

SS

[Marily]

If he is to tired to take you somewhere, get a babysitter one night, and surprise him with candlelight dinner at home, followed by a hot bubble bath and maybe a romantic dvd. Was just a thought;)