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snipesgirl · Jul 5, 2007, 04:22 PM

Hello. I know this is really ludacris but I am a 16year old girl. I have recently fell madly in love with a 17 year old boy. However we went out before but now want to take thing slower but I'm not sure if he really wants me anymore. Well his friends tell me he still likes me but doesn't want to fall in love because boys nowadays are scared of falling in love. Well some of my school friends have had children and you don't mean to follow them but my older brother girlfriend have just had a baby and I want one now. My friend is saying that I only want a baby to try and keep the 17year old boy I like but I really love him and just want to have his baby. Am I mad?

nicckidoodle · Jul 5, 2007, 04:29 PM

No you are not mad, but you got the baby bug!
I had it when I was your age and me and my then 19 year old boyfriend got pregnant and lost the baby it nearly killed me, your body is not really ready for that and neither is your mind, because onceyou have a baby there is no turning back, and he might just decide he doesn't want kids specailly if your having doubts about he's feelings for you, there is no better way to strain a teenage relationship and cause resentment then a one sided pregnancy

rankrank55 · Jul 5, 2007, 04:46 PM

I understand your feelings but having a baby, right now, is not a good idea for you, your boyfriend or for the baby. It would be very selfish of you to bring a child into the world that probably will not be able to receive the needed care from BOTH parents.

Kattalover · Jul 5, 2007, 08:25 PM

Originally Posted by snipesgirl

Hello. i know this is really ludacris but i am a 16year old girl. i have recently fell madly in love with a 17 year old boy. however we went out before but now want to take thing slower but i'm not sure if he really wants me anymore. well his friends tell me he still likes me but doesnt want to fall in love because boys nowadays are scared of falling in love. well some of my school friends have had children and u dont mean to follow them but my older brother girlfriend have just had a baby and i want one now. My friend is saying that i only want a baby to try and keep the 17year old boy i like but i really love him and just want to have his baby. Am i mad??

I don't think you're mad, but I don't think you love this boy, either. It's just hormones talking.

It is irresponsible to bring a child into the world if you're not able to take 100% care of the baby and all his/her needs. Do you have a job that will support you and the baby should the father bail out (which is likely, because this boy doesn't seem interested in a committed relationship at this point)? Who is going to take care of the baby when you're at work? Do you realize that being a mom is a 24/7 job without vacations or holidays?

But most importantly: You said you're not sure if he even wants you anymore; so how are you planning on getting pregnant? Seduce or coerce him into having unprotected sex? I think that is a very dishonest thing to do.

I suggest you babysit your brother's and schoolmates' children instead of having one yourself. Finish your education and vocational training or college afterwards. Get a job. Work for a couple of years. Build a relationship with a man you can love and trust, somebody who truly wants to be with you and start a family with you, and THEN think about having children.

Just my 2 cents.

talaniman · Jul 6, 2007, 03:39 PM

You are not mad at all, just feeling strongly for another human, but beware and know his feelings are not as strong, so it would be unwise to act on those feelings. He isn't ready to take care of a baby and neither are you even though the feelings are strong, the maturity and love, and ability to care for a child are not there yet.

Marily · Jul 7, 2007, 09:30 AM

What happened to a couple getting married first and then conceive?

Marily · Jul 9, 2007, 04:38 AM

To curlybenswife - I believe that life is not full of suprises, but people are, life does not make choices in life, but people self

talaniman · Jul 9, 2007, 05:41 AM

People make mistakes.

Tuscany · Jul 9, 2007, 05:53 AM

Honey you are not crazy. But, you are very young. And you need to think about how having a baby would change your life. Then think about the kind of life that you could offer the child. Don't you want to bring a child up in an envornment where you can give them the best? As a teenager you are not yet equipped to do that.

Why not baby sit (like was suggested) or work at a summer day camp for kids.

Marily · Jul 9, 2007, 05:58 AM

Agree with talaniman, people make mistakes, the choices that we make determents the outcome of our life