[inneedofadviceplease]

My fiancé and I have been attempting to have sex lately. He was a virgin until the night that he proposed to me. We will both be incredibly in the mood and he has a problem keeping an erection. He is only 23 years old and he feels very embarrassed by this issue and I am not sure how to help him. He doesn't have health insurance right now so he can't just go to the doctor. He gets so frustrated that he can't make love to me that he has actually curled up in a fetal position and cried. I have completely been avoiding any kind of sexual contact lately because I don't want to make him uncomfortable.

It has made me feel unattractive and its not like I'm a sex addict, I would just like to make love to my fiancé once in a while and be able to get him to have an orgasm as well. I've been so frustrated lately that I hate sex, I don't even know what to do. I feel selfish when he gets me off and he NEVER ejaculates. I REALLY love this man and we are getting married in a year. I want to help him, but I'm not sure how. We have only been able to have one full session of sex since we have been together and he was able to ejaculate. He doesn't even ejaculate when I give him a hand job or a blow job. He has only been able to ejaculate once and I don't know if its because he is new to this, or what. We both want to be able to make love, please give us advice if you have it.

He hasn't even been able to get himself off by masterbating! He said it just gets too sensitive and he loses his erection. We have a GREAT relationship, but I would like to be able to have sex with my future husband

[Xrayman]

The situation may be helped by kissing and mutual touching--leave the "sex" part out, once the feeling arises and you both are comfortable-it will happen. Usually the best advice is to watch each other masturbate (in a friendly intimate atmosphere) if he can bring himself to the brink while you watch-then help him over the edge, then move onto the intercourse part eventually.

Cheers

[Kattalover]

He can't reach orgasm when masturbating? That sounds very unusual. Has he tried different techniques and/or lube?

[UnwantedHero]

I have a similar problem while I'm fine masterbating Ive never been able to orgasm or even feel much pleasure reciving handjobs or oral.I find sex is the only time I do feel anything but still can't orgasm from it.If he's anything like me then he's really feeling bad and imbarrassed by it.its strange that he can't get himself off though,most guys can maybe some visual stimulation may help for instance porn or watching you playing with yourself,if not maybe he could see a doctor about it to see if there's something that they can do.

[ramblinguy]

I know it can be expensive, but a visit to the doctor might be a good idea right now. Correcting this issue is worth the price. First of all he will probably find out that he's not the only one this has happened to. Also, an outside voice telling him to not make such a big deal out of it might help. When this happens to a guy it can really put a lot of pressure on him and this only compounds the problem. His doctor might discover something that is causing the problem. If there is no physical problem it is probably a loss of confidence or nerves. Performance anxiety? There are prescriptions. Viagra might be just the answer. It's not just for older guys. Getting that confidence back will certainly help. This might give you two a few rockin' sessions. Sure to help.
There's always the possibility that there is something else, psychological, that might be getting in the way. It could be something from his past that he doesn't even remember.