[beachgurly06]

My husband and I got married last October and he is leaving this August for iraq. I want to know if anyone out there has dealt with a spouse leaving to war and how they felt because I know that I am really depressed and all that I can think that could go wrong runs through my head constantly. I have three or four anxiety attacks since I found out and sometimes I just can't keep it together. I try my hardest not to show my emotions in front of him so he will not be distracted so I often cry in the shower or after he falls asleep. I don't know how to deal with all of it. I just don't know what I would do without him, God forbid anything does happen to him. But I don't know how I am going to handle him away and how bad the depression is going to get or if it will subside. Please help

[Clough]

Be close to those who care about him. Speak with them about the way that you feel. Share and be open with them about the way that you feel. Reach out to them. Be a team together with them. I am sure that they are feeling some of the same things you are. Seek out professional counseling help if you think that is what you might need. If you need to get some medication to get you through this, then get it.

Be strong and proud of your husband for choosing to serve his country as he is. Realize that you are not alone in your struggle with this. There are many in the same boat as you. Seek them out and find the comfort and courage in each other to help you through this.

I am hopeful that others will share their insights and thoughts to what you have posted.

[beachgurly06]

Thanks so much, Clough. I do talk to his mother about these things but whenever I do she just tells me to be strong, to not cry like she has. It's hard for me, I can't help the crying anymore. It won't stop when I want it too and I can't hold it in either. When I talk to his sister she says she doesn't want to talk about it or think about it so we just don't discuss it at all. On my side of the family they just tell me to quit freaking out. My sister even called me a cry baby. My mother just says that sucks nonchalantly and goes on talking about herself. The other military wives I know have been through it, I'm the only first timer and they just say that the first time is the hardest and that's about it. I feel like I am going crazy.

But I am very proud of my husband. He's a wonderful man and an awesome marine. He is also very proud to go and admire him for that. He's more than anything that I have ever dreamed of. He's my soulmate and I don''t know what to do without him for even just a day.

[aingealbaby20]

I have been through 1 deployment so far with my husband and I am about to go through another one in about a month. I can't say much about it just that don't let it stress you out as much as it does and when he gets there he will be able to communicate with you more then you probably think. Make friends and keep yourself busy, don't listen to people being negative it will just make you feel worse. The FRG is there to help you with any questions or concerns you may have and there are people there to help you and talk to you about the deployment or if you just need someone to talk to, like the Chaplin or some doctors. Talk to your husband and he can help you with who you can talk to. Try not to think about it all the time even though I know it is hard. The time will go by faster then you think. I am sorry I don't have much to say just to keep busy and look forward to when he comes home.
I hope this helps some if not I am sorry.
Take care and good luck
Jamie