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Synder · Jun 22, 2007, 11:57 PM

Oh by the way, he won't let me give him head. He says he doesn't like it. The conversation was more like.

"Jason, can I give you head?"

"No."

"Right now."

"No."

"Are you sure? You can blame it on the beer."

"I don't like head honestly."

The conversation before that was:

"Jason, are you bi?"

"Yes."

"Really?"

"No."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Its okay dude."

"I will never f.u.c.k a man." (oddly specific there. A stright guy would say 'I only like girls')

"So would you let him f.u.c.k you?"

He thinks for about a minute then says "yes." Then he proceeds to mount my friend next to me and he scares him for a bit then he says "I'll just blame this on the beer."

The conversation a little before that was one of my female friends talking to me.

"I don't know any gay guys with mostly guy friends."

"You mean like me?"

"Yeah, you're the only one."

Then Jason raises his hand and I say, "What about Jason, he and I have the same friends and he's gay." Jason just laughs and says he needs to change out his contacts. While he's gone, we dicide that he's gay or bi and we decide to just ask him when he returns.

Chameleon · Jun 23, 2007, 07:12 AM

Sounds like he's bi ( at the very least bi-curious), but he's afraid to admit it to himself or others. I have a friend who acts like he may be bi, but gets all pi**ed off if you ask him if he might, could be, may be possibly be bi-sexual. You have two options... Ride out the storm, or wait until your lease is up and, to quote another user, get the hell out of there. It isn't fair to you to string you along. I know you have feelings for him, but try to push them aside until he figures out what he wants. Oh, by the way, don't sit around waiting on him... make him chase after you. :D

Synder · Jun 23, 2007, 08:15 AM

No, I've given up on him.

Just a word to amricangayboy: That really wasn't so hard. But of course, when I asked him, there were three other friends in the room and they all agreed that he was gay or at least the most bisexual person in existence. Now I'm curious what the deal is with your straight friend.

americangayboy · Jun 25, 2007, 08:38 AM

Well, here goes: I thought he was gay when I first met him... turned out that he isn't (or at least in the closet). We have a very bizarre friendship; very sexual in nature. When we're out at the bar, he feels me up and makes jokes about how he's really going to give it to me later that night. Also, he always joked about how we were such a great couple when we worked together (and a lot of our coworkers agreed; I recently spoke to one who lives out of state now and she casually asked if we were STILL together... we were never a couple, but people assumed we were).

When his friends from college would come around, he got all uncomfortable about being around me, he wouldn't say anything sexual to me (which was weird) and would talk about girls (very disrespectfully, I might add). Anyway, he started dating this girl, and was with her for several months. I went from seeing him every day to once in a while. The strange thing is, he never let me meet this girl, didn't talk about her when I was around, and continued to be dirty when we were hanging out.

They broke up about 2 weeks ago, and he started sending me naughty messages the night that he broke up with her. Since then, he's called me every day, sometimes several times a day just to chat. We ended up hanging out last week. He kept talking about how much he needed a bj and a massage. I said "I've been known to give both" to which he laughed and was like "if I don't find a girl in the next 20min, you're my guy!"

Over the weekend, I got a smidge drunk (it was Pride) and I sent him and some other friends a message that was like "too bad you didn't come out with me tonight, i would've given you head" He called me the next day and was like "Do you even know what you sent me? Were you serious?" He was really uncomfortable with the message (which I thought was relatively bland) and now he's avoiding me. I'm just completely confused, I never know if he's joking or serious, I don't get why he has become uncomfortable with my sexual jokes, especially since he makes them toward me, and I don't know why he changes his behavior so dramatically when certain friends are around (well, I have an idea, but I can't say for sure).

Synder · Jun 25, 2007, 11:56 AM

First question. Do you mean Atlanta Pride? Second, your guy seems even more blatant than mine and its funny that he reacted about the same way my guy did. What did you say when he asked you if you were serious?

americangayboy · Jun 25, 2007, 12:54 PM

No, I live in the midwest. I passive aggressively said "what do you think?" and now I'm kicking myself. The problem is that I'm never sure if he's joking or not... he's very hard to read.

jeremy4719 · Jun 25, 2007, 06:18 PM

OK

Synder · Jun 25, 2007, 10:10 PM

Hmm, joking like that is usually a way to do what you want to do something you couldn't do otherwise without a consequence. I hope you guys good luck and remember that if he doesn't come around, there are plenty of gayer fish in the sea.

rankrank55 · Jun 25, 2007, 10:16 PM

Hey Synder, do think you could help me figure out it my bud is gay or not. It doesn't matter to me whether he is or not but I'm just curious...

americangayboy · Jun 26, 2007, 09:04 AM

Yeah, he just asked me out for drinks tonight and he always makes the joke "with a few drinks in me, you might get lucky" (not that that's ever worked out before, but he has felt me up!)

I know there are other fish in the sea, I've seen MANY of them. But this guy is just so everything that I want (except out of the closet). He's cute, funny, really smart, has good taste in music, he's not pretentious, has a good job, he's very masculine (for a gay man, a little femme for a straight) Oh well, one of these days someone will knock my socks off!

Jiser · Jun 26, 2007, 09:14 AM

Sounds like a person totally confused, who has some curiosity but isn't ready for it full on. Perhaps he's merely testing the waters with flirting etc. Don't let yourself get to involved! Or you may set yourself up for a big fall!

In fact I thought I fell in love with a best friend of mine for a year or two, I was obsessed! It was so unhealthy, I even went through a stage of experimenting with guys. However I know now I am not gay but maybe a little curious. Maybe he is going through a stage.

Anyway I am all for women, apart from the shopping part and obsessive cleaning habits - I assume this comes into play when married or living together?

americangayboy · Jun 26, 2007, 11:16 AM

I don't believe people go through sexual phases (men at least) because research indicates that male sexual orientation is stable, unlike women. I would definitely get involved if the opportunity presented itself, even though it might end up being purely sexual. Thanks for your concern though.

BTW Jiser-you're straight and fell in love with your best friend of the same sex? Just clarifying

Synder · Jun 26, 2007, 01:10 PM

Originally Posted by rankrank55

Hey Synder, do think you could help me figure out it my bud is gay or not. It doesn't matter to me whether he is or not but i'm just curious...

Sure, tell me about him.

Synder · Jun 26, 2007, 01:20 PM

Originally Posted by americangayboy

I don't believe people go through sexual phases (men at least) because research indicates that male sexual orientation is stable, unlike women. I would definitely get involved if the opportunity presented itself, even though it might end up being purely sexual. Thanks for your concern though.

BTW Jiser-you're straight and fell in love with your best friend of the same sex? Just clarifying

Love is a really confusing thing. You can fall head over heels for someone of any sex without a sexual component at all. Sexuality isn't clearcut either. I look forward to a day when we don't draw those lines and people can explore their feelings without all the weight that comes with it.

I mean look at me. I fell in love with my best friend and I don't even find him particularly attractive. Love is deeper than a lot of things. I know he loves me. There was a time I think he love me more than anyone else. I know there was I time I felt that way about him and it wasn't until a few weeks ago did I start to want to become his boyfriend. Somehow the two weren't related.

To be 100% honest, I don't know if I'm 100% gay myself. I know I think guys are attractive and I know I don't feel like having sex with women. On the other hand, I can find women attractive and I don't think about sex when I think about guys. I can't stand gay porn, I'll just watch someone jack off or something, but if it gets too gay I'll switch to something else. Now don't get me wrong, I am out of the closet gay, but it isn't like the line is really clear. Maybe I'm just not driven by sex.

rankrank55 · Jun 26, 2007, 01:26 PM

Oh great you saw my question. Well I've been friends with this guy for about 4 years and I met him when I met my boyfriend, the went to the same school... they are friends. Here is what makes me suspicious: he has mostly girl friends, very gossipy, he has guy friends but gets jealous acting when they don't give him attention, he is very sassy with my boyfriend and just makes comments that make you wonder, he has never had a girlfriend(although he claims to "like" certain women), and his voice and body language are very different for a guy, especially for a large African American guy. I have a gay friend who knows "James" and he told me that "James" has commented him on his "beautiful eyes" What do you think about all of this?

americangayboy · Jun 26, 2007, 01:30 PM

Sounds a little gay to me. If you want to be sure, you could show him gay porn and watch for a tent to form lol

rankrank55 · Jun 26, 2007, 01:37 PM

Lol, I would hate to embarrass him. The other day his phone rang and it played that "secret lover" song and I was like "who is that" and he said it was one of his buds who also acts a little gay and then he got a little quiet like "oh no I wasn't suppose to say that." Lol if he is I wish he'd just tell me!

Synder · Jun 26, 2007, 01:51 PM

Question, what makes you think he could be straight?

rankrank55 · Jun 26, 2007, 01:57 PM

Well... he claims he is straight but I think he is gay.

americangayboy · Jun 26, 2007, 02:03 PM

Hmmm... I hate that. I wish (jokingly) that I was psychic so there wouldn't be all of this confusion surrounding straights. You never can tell what's going on upstairs lol Just last week I hooked up with a 28 year old closet case who was raised in Chicago (not the suburbs, the actual city!) It's not like he grew up in a hostile environment and he said his parents are pretty liberal. Also, he was TOTALLY butch... beer drinking, football watching, nut scratching straighty.