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steffy_bear · Jun 17, 2007, 01:24 PM

Okay, so I am not the skinniest or the prettiest girl anyone has ever seen, but I am kind of pretty. The thing I don't get is that guys really aren't attracted to me or that's what I think. Hardly anyone will date me. What do guys like that they won't date me? What can I do to get them too? Are all guys like this?

rockstar567 · Jun 17, 2007, 01:47 PM

All I think you should do is stay the way you are. Don't change just because guys don't think your pretty. Everyone is beautiful inside & out. Don't change

huno · Jun 17, 2007, 10:43 PM

Well, this isn't an easy question, but I think rockstar gave you the most concise answer anyone can give you: be yourself, give it time, and you will eventually meet someone who likes you for you.

That said, there might be some minor things that you could do to make yourself more appealing, but for anyone to advise you as to what you can do, can you tell us what you're like? How do you act around guys? What do you talk about? How's your sense of humor? Do you flirt? Are you very serious?

Maybe you come off as "one of the guys." Or perhaps you don't talk much and guys think you're stuck-up. Or you don't dress as well as you could. There could be any number of things. Give us more an idea of how your typical interaction goes; that may help.

Rockabilly1955mama · Jun 17, 2007, 10:55 PM

The only thing you can do, be yourself.
The right man is bound to find you if you do so.

Hope this helped!

steffy_bear · Jun 17, 2007, 10:59 PM

Originally Posted by Rockabilly1955mama

The only thing you can do, be yourself.
The right man is bound to find you if you do so.

Hope this helped!

Thanks, I totally will take this advise. Thank you so much.

steffy_bear · Jun 17, 2007, 11:03 PM

Originally Posted by huno

Well, this isn't an easy question, but I think rockstar gave you the most concise answer anyone can give you: be yourself, give it time, and you will eventually meet someone who likes you for you.

That said, there might be some minor things that you could do to make yourself more appealing, but for anyone to advise you as to what you can do, can you tell us what you're like? How do you act around guys? What do you talk about? How's your sense of humor? Do you flirt? Are you very serious?

Maybe you come off as "one of the guys." Or perhaps you don't talk much and guys think you're stuck-up. Or you don't dress as well as you possibly could. There could be any number of things. Give us more an idea of how your typical interaction goes; that may help.

Yeah I know. I act like well me around guys, I really don't change for them. If I like them, I flirt. I talk about just about anything. I am one of the most open girls in the world. I will talk about absolutely anything. I have a great sense of humor because I get everyone laughing all the time. I am not always serious but when it is time to be, I will be. I am kind of goofy at times, more than my friends at least. I am very honest my friends come to me for just about anything. I know I dress well because everyone refers to me as rich and they always compliment my clothes. I talk most the time. I just don't know what is wrong. Ahh

cal823 · Jun 17, 2007, 11:14 PM

Nothings "wrong", people not asking you out just means your less likely to be disapointed, less likely to have to handle break ups. It doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you, you just haven't met the sort of people who are compatible with you and are attracted to you, or they are too shy, or they just have their reasons. Hell, id be more worried by this illusion of thinking that "skinny" is what guys like. Trust me, most of us guys don't like twigs. Just be yourself, you want someone to like you, not some false version of you.

steffy_bear · Jun 18, 2007, 09:20 AM

Originally Posted by cal823

nothings "wrong", people not asking you out just means your less likely to be disapointed, less likely to have to handle break ups. it doesnt mean theres anything wrong with you, you just havnt met the sorta people who are compatible with you and are attracted to you, or they are too shy, or they just have their reasons. hell, id be more worried by this illusion of thinking that "skinny" is what guys like. Trust me, most of us guys dont like twigs. just be yourself, you want someone to like you, not some false version of you.

Wow, thanks. This helped a lot!! Thank you so much.

huno · Jun 18, 2007, 07:27 PM

I'm going to go against the grain here and say that you can change and still be "yourself." I was always myself in the past but I knew that it just wasn't getting me anywhere, so I decided to do some self-improvement. I was quieter before, but now I speak up more often. Lost weight, got some nicer clothes, and took a sunnier outlook on life.

Basically I tried to be happier and it definitely helps. I still consider it being "myself," but I did change; I think the changes were for the better and, improvements in attracting girls aside, I think I'm better off for it.

So you might think about what you don't like about yourself and what you think you could do to improve yourself. Or you could be yourself and be patient; I think both are perfectly viable options.

EDIT: your sig says you're a cheerleader? And you're not getting asked out? Ok, something's REALLY wrong there... maybe ALWAYS wear your cheerleader outfit? Do you know how to sew? Make the skirt a few inches shorter... instant dates.

Man, I'm a genius... :P

cal823 · Jun 18, 2007, 11:39 PM

hunos right, you can make changes to yourself, but only make changes to be what you want to be, not what others want. The last few years I have changed myself so much, but for self improvement, not for peer pressure or whatever, and you can do it too.
You will always be you, but don't try to go against who you are, be you, not something false.
In my opinion, shorter skirts would =Shallower Guys, the guys who are good for you won't be attracted by you revealing more of your legs/other stuff.

Pelechowicz · Jun 19, 2007, 12:09 AM

Well lets see here. Every girl in my eyes, is beautiful inside and out, no matter how many people tell you that you are not. You are. You keep looking up okay? The right guy is bound to rear his head for you, who knows? Might be bald. But what I seek in a girl is adventure, and if she is outgoing, (which I think all guys love in girls) then you will be bound to attract more men. You should me more proud of yourself, being a woman and all. Show the world you are beautiful and plenty will be returned to you.

huno · Jun 19, 2007, 07:07 AM

Originally Posted by cal823

In my opinion, shorter skirts would =Shallower Guys, the guys who are good for you wont be attracted by you revealing more of your legs/other stuff.

She just wants a date, she's not marrying Prince Charming... :P

And besides, even good guys like a nice pair of legs... in fact I'm going to rescind my previous advice and say just lose the skirt altogether.

Damn, I should be paid for this sh!t... :D

steffy_bear · Jun 19, 2007, 12:38 PM

Originally Posted by huno

I'm gonna go against the grain here and say that you can change and still be "yourself." I was always myself in the past but I knew that it just wasn't getting me anywhere, so I decided to do some self-improvement. I was quieter before, but now I speak up more often. Lost weight, got some nicer clothes, and took a sunnier outlook on life.

Basically I tried to be happier and it definitely helps. I still consider it being "myself," but I did change; I think the changes were for the better and, improvements in attracting girls aside, I think I'm better off for it.

So you might think about what you don't like about yourself and what you think you could do to improve yourself. Or you could be yourself and be patient; I think both are perfectly viable options.

EDIT: your sig says you're a cheerleader? And you're not getting asked out? Ok, something's REALLY wrong there... maybe ALWAYS wear your cheerleader outfit? Do you know how to sew? Make the skirt a few inches shorter... instant dates.

Man, I'm a genius.... :P

Oh I get asked out but not like everyone else. I like more of a long term thing. What I want is more people my age to ask me out I guess. I get asked out but mostly by older guys. But yes, I am a cheerleader. I can't always wear my cheer outfit because that is against the rules. I do know how to sew but I can't make it any shorter or my coach will flip. I'm not into being much of a hoe so yeah.

steffy_bear · Jun 19, 2007, 12:40 PM

Originally Posted by Pelechowicz

Well lets see here. Every girl in my eyes, is beautiful inside and out, no matter how many people tell you that you are not. you are. you keep looking up okay? the right guy is bound to rear his head for you, who knows? might be bald. But what I seek in a girl is adventure, and if she is outgoing, (which I think all guys love in girls) then you will be bound to attract more men. You should me more proud of yourself, being a woman and all. Show the world you are beautiful and plenty will be returned to you.

Wow, see you are the kind of guy I truly like. Someone who really thinks that. You sure helped a lot, thanks!

huno · Jun 19, 2007, 03:07 PM

Originally Posted by steffy_bear

Oh I get asked out but not like everyone else. I like more of a long term thing. What I want is more people my age to ask me out I guess. I get asked out but mostly by older guys. But yes, I am a cheerleader. I can't always wear my cheer outfit because that is against the rules. I do know how to sew but I can't make it any shorter or my coach will flip. I'm not into being much of a hoe so yeah.

Hahaha... well I was joking about the entire skirt thing. Actually I'm impressed there are girls out there who want real, long-term relationships. Bravo to you.

In any case, you're probably still at an age when most guys are looking to get laid and it will be hard to find guys that want to get into a committed relationship. So if you are getting asked out but not by the right guys, then you're probably not doing anything wrong--it's just that you need to wait until the right guys come along. They are out there; just have to give it some time.

Good luck!