[zooropa1985]

Hey emo, well here's yet another update, saw my ex again with her friend, guess what... yep blanked again.

I don't look at her with love or hurt anymore, every time I see her I feel anger, is this OK? I just want to have it out with her about how much of a b!tch she has been.

[emopunk7]

What friend? Girl or boy? If it's a boy, do you think anything is going on?

[zooropa1985]

No noooo girl, lol if it hada been a guy I would have walked right up to them and punched the dude.

It was her friend from school but it hurts because she's doing what I should be doing, having fun with friends, I've really seen a side to her that I never knew existed.

Here's the funny thing, about a month into the relationship I was going to dump her but couldn't do it because she seemed so into me, boy have I learned my lesson.

[emopunk7]

I can't wait till next Friday for you! Apparently I have to wait till August before my date returns from Florida. Everything happens for a reason they say. They also say out of sight, out of mind. They also say don't do drugs! I have no idea what I just said... lol Take care my friend!

[zooropa1985]

Yea me too, I'm actually looking forward to it, been a tough couple of months but it would have been a lot worse without all you guys, seriously sincere thanks to all of you, its amazing that complete strangers on the internet can really really help, I feel like I've even made an online friend or two.

They do say everything happens for a reason and maybe we do have a certain path we have to follow, I never believed that before but it makes sense when thing like this happen.

Im confused at the moment about how I'm feeling, I'm not in love with her, I don't find her attractive anymore but there is still a little spark in there that has yet to go out, it only ignites when I see her or someone I know connected to her.

Like I said before emo, I'm looking forward to the day that we can give advice and be happy at the same time, things can only get better my friend, we deserve some happiness.

[Jiser]

Forgive and move on.

Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.

Pay no attention to the faults of others,
Things done or left undone by others.
Consider only what by oneself is done or left undone.

Let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn't learn a lot today, at least we learned a little, and if we didn't learn a little, at least we didn't get sick, and if we got sick, at least we didn't die; so, let us all be thankful.

[chuff]

no noooo girl, lol if it hada been a guy i woulda walked right up to them and punched the dude.

Let me get this straight. If your ex lying, using, manipulative girlfriend was walking down the street with a guy you'd walk up to them and punch HIM?

How and what exactly would that do for you? What exactly would that guy have done to deserve that? She dumped you, so why don't you face that fact before any others. It's not any other guys fault. It's not the guy she admitted to having a one night stand with, fault. It's not her parents fault. It's not God's fault. It's her fault. So let's quit trying to protect her once and for all and start seeing her for who she was and who she is.

That's the kind of jealous behavior that got you dumped in the first place. That's the kind of behavior that a woman looks at and thinks "He's not all there in the head, stay clear." That is the kind of stuff that turns women away from you. You have to fix that before you date again. A woman wants a man that will defend himself if he has to, not go pick fights because he's a bully who can't control his emotions.

Furthermore, what if a guy was walking down the street with you ex because they both work together and were on lunchbreak? Are you going to assume that just because a guy stands next to her that he must be after her?

[zooropa1985]

OK well first off I said that as a joke.

And secondly chances are if she was with another dude then she probably got to know hi while with me, meaning he knew fair well that she was with me, I have this rule, if a girl is taken, no matter what that girl is off limits.

[bushg]

Zoo That is a very admirable quality "if a girl is taken, no matter what that girl is off limits." :)

[talaniman]

ok well first off i said that as a joke.

and secondly chances are if she was with another dude then she probly got to know hi while with me, meaning he knew fair well that she was with me, i have this rule, if a girl is taken, no matter what that girl is off limits.

Just because you can't be with her, doesn't mean nobody else can no matter how you meet. Your jealousy is not his problem, or hers.

[zooropa1985]

You are right but I'm not really that jealous, ju annoyed right now that I'm the one that is suffering and she is fine.

It was my own stupidity to think that she would be hurting also and that I meant something to her.

Next week is my first big date in over a year, will seem weird at first being with another girl but its what I need. Im not using her as a rebound, I'm just going to take it slow and easy and see what happens.

[bushg]

Leave your ex behind... do not judge this girl by the last one. Have a good time :)

[kristynn]

You are right but im not really that jealous, ju annoyed right now that im the one that is suffering and she is fine.

It was my own stupidity to think that she would be hurting also and that i meant something to her.

Next week is my first big date in over a year, will seem wierd at first being with another girl but its what i need. Im not using her as a rebound, im just gonna take it slow and easy and see what happens.

By the way, it's OK to be jealous!

[emopunk7]

It's not your stupidity. We all hope that they are hurting just as well. But honestly it's better to know they are not hurting because it can help us move on more quick and no false hope arises... Same thing happened with me. Even till now it hurts a bit knowing it's almost 2 weeks since the good time together and still no contact. She signed on the other day and nothing. But I don't care anymore. I'm so used to this behavior. But yes, I'm sure all this bad stuff is helping you out in way. I hope so. I just hope to see my ex like in 3 months from now. Not now. I'm like 2 feet of being totally over it, and if I see her, I don't want thoughts to come back. Maybe after 2 more months it would be great to show up with another girl and show her how good I am without her!! I sooo can't wait!! Only because that will be the day that I know I'm happy again. And it will be amazing for myself to know that I got through a break up and I was the one who was dumped. That's hard and to know I got through it, I will be darn proud of myself. I'm proud a little for how far I've gone so quickly that I went for a $500 shopping spree over the weekend. This week I'm focusing on my abs for a six pack... Wanna join me?

[zooropa1985]

Yea ill join you but it'll probably take a year or so to get anywere near a six pack lol

Ive learnt another lesson in life too I just realised. Before I got met my ex I used to hook up with different girls and then just dump them, I know that doesn't sound like much but some of these girls were kind of into me, point being I realise now some of the hurt I may have caused.

I also know that if I ever did dump someone I would be respectful enough to meet with them and explain why, not just say your dumped and then never hear again.

Im moving on, some days are worse than others, sadly I live close to my ex and a lot of things remind me of her, a lot of things. But my good man I still have my date on Friday so I've been focused on that.

Maybe I'm not in the right place to start anything new right now or maybe I am, only time will tell but I promised myself not to mess this girl around, she deserves more, she has been like a rock to me without knowing it.

Thanks again to all you guys, wish I could buy ya's all a beer and maybe a hooker-just the one mind, I'm not made of money lol

[emopunk7]

Yea today I feel thoughts have creeped in... Like missing a few things, but I have to stay strong. Life is hard but I'm sure it will be worth it in the end. A piece of advice... You may not want to look at porn because crazy thoughts play in your mind. Like someone else doing things to your girl and stuff. I stay away from that.

[zooropa1985]

Dude I got to be honest, I used to have those thoughts when we were together lol, now though its hit me that she could be with someone else right now and there's nothng I can do to change that.

Just weird, its like that u2 song:

Whose going to ride your wild horses
Whose going to drown in your blue sea
Whose going to ride your wild horses
Whose going to take the place of me

That's what hurts the most, knowing that one day someone else will get what I love dearly.

BUT

I'm going to be strong and deal with it like a man, I'm looking forward to Friday and just getting out and having fun for the first time in 9 weeks.

[Jiser]

The more fun you have the better. Laugh, enjoy life. Go out and drive around with loud music and singing + windows down - that is key :)

Spend a day with nature - this is proven to help promote the destruction of stress + is very relaxing and calming.

Plan some trips and fun things to look forward to!

[zooropa1985]

Update:

Well its time to tell you guys about the date.

We met up and I showed her a few places she hadn't been before (not those kind of places lol) It was actually really good, we talked and I think we clicked, still early to tell of course but I was comfortable with her.

We went for a meal and again just talked about stuff in general, then we went to a bar and had a few drinks.

It was good and I hadn't talked like that to a girl since me ex, however at the very end when I saw her off I had this real sense of sadness rush over me. Like all of a sudden I realised that I would never be on another date with my ex, it was weird but I felt very sad for an hour afterwards.

Luckily she texted me to say we should do it again so she must have liked me lol

It was weird being on a date with a different girl, can't describe it in detail but weird would be a word.

[kristynn]

Sounds like good news... for you! :p

I'm sure it wasn't weird, but maybe a bit too good to be true?