[tr3sha]

Okay, so I've been having a real situation.. probably for about a year and a half.
I met my best friend at a house party last year, and we've been stuck together ever since. As time went on after we met, I found out that she was extremely bi-sexual and extremely into me. We did the whole "ooh! two drunk girls kissing!" bit one night after consuming huge amounts of alcohol, and after that her feelings multiplied into a thousand. I've been dating my boyfriend for two years now, and no matter how much I tell her that I find it disrespectful to down my relationship with him, she still continues to do so. The simple solution of course is to just get rid of her.. ax the friend. However, she's probably one of the greatest people I've ever met. I laugh insanely too much with her, and we have fun no matter what we're doing. The feeling of her admiration for my genitals is waning thin on my patience and I can no longer talk to her without feeling somewhat violated. Whaaaat should I dooooo?

[Clough]

In my opinion, I would be upfront and honest with her about the way that you feel. If she really values your friendship more than the fixation on your genitals, then she will understand and continue to be a good friend. If she doesn't, then it may be time to part company.

I am a man and had a close, gay friend for several years. We were the best of friends. Laughing and partying together, etc. We had broken up as friends several times in those several years, my choice, because he just couldn't handle it because he was so attracted to me. We would get back together, with him reassuring me that he could "handle" it.

This last time that we broke up, it was finally his choice to break off the friendship. That was good because it was his choice. It proved that his interest in me was more of a sexual nature and not of the just being friends kind.

Gay and lesbian relationships with others not of the same orientation can and do work. I have another friend who is gay. We have been very close friends with each other for probably 35+ years. But, the boundaries are drawn and known between us. Even the thought of us having a sexual relationship with each other, will never come as being more important as the great friendship that we share.

Sometimes you just have to part company. We can't be just friends with everyone. It can be a hard lesson to learn. Be upfront with her. Be honest. Be nice about it. Don't blame anything on her. Describe it as a problem that is yours that maybe she could help you with. Present it as a challenge to her as to how you can still be friends with each other without letting sex get in the way. The one night thing of getting drunk and having a make-out session was just that. Getting drunk and not thinking really about the repercussions of what you both had done.

That is my opinion anyway. I am hopeful that others will offer theirs, also.

[talaniman]

You tell her drop the BS or get lost. She respects you or get lost.

[Fr_Chuck]

If you are not lesbian or bi, then just let her know and most likely treat this like a boy you would know that is always hitting on your but you don't like, you have to move on from them. There is no middle ground once one party comments to trying to get a relationship.

If you are bi- date both, * if you don't have a committed relationship
( not my personal thing) but common in today's society.

[americangayboy]

Although honesty is the best policy, "just being honest" is not the issue here. I'm in a friendship similar to yours except I'm not sure about the friends orientation (big time mixed singles). Unfortunately, I don't think that "being honest" will solve this problem. You need to spend some time apart from this girl so she can get over you. Don't be rude about it, but find reasons not to see her. Obviously, if you have mutual friends, it will be hard to completely cut her out, but try your best to avoid her. You'll be doing her a favor.

[americangayboy]

Has she tried to get with you recently or is she just obviously into you? I will say that talking about your boyfriend too much will just make her angry (and you don't want that!) I really think the best thing to do would just be to put a wall between you and let her get over it without letting her know what you're doing.

[cal823]

Be honest! Tell her what you don't want, and what you want, be clear to avoid confusion, be assertive about it, but don't be too rough on her about it, you don't want to risk hurting your boyfriend.