[BrittanyandRob]

My wife and I are trying to surrender the rights of my 9 year old daughter. She has no idea I am her father and I don't think it is fair to introduce her to me now. For no reason visitation has been denied, repeatedly. After several failure to appears in court, her mother finnaly showed up and we opened the discussion of surrendering rights. The mother's husband is willing to adopt, but we can't seem to get her in the courtroom. The child support office will not give me her address for correspondence. What steps and paper-work do I need to file to get the ball moving?

[tawnynkids]

Don't give up your rights. :) Even if you don't get to exercise them you will want to tell your daughter one day that you always wanted her and loved her. Your daughter will come to find out about you and want to know what happened. (Well, there is a good chance of that happening anyway.) And if it does wouldn't you rather say "I did want to see you but for whatever reason your mom didn't want that to happen and I wasn't able to"? She certainly won't feel better thinking well he just didn't want me obviously, he just gave up his rights and wrote me off like I was nothing.

Even if you can't have a relationship with her now, she may want one with you later.

I am wondering why you say visitation has been denied though. Was it denied by the Court or just by mom? You have legal options if it has been denied by mom. Have you been doing these "Court appearances" so far with or without a lawyer? Just would like so more info on that to get a better picture.

As far as steps and paperwork to get the ball moving on giving up your parental rights... well it really would need to be done all at the same time. The termination and adoption by step dad that is. I am not sure how you can accomplish that though if mom won't even show up to court. Your statement is just a little contradictory in that you say she won't show up to court in the first place, then she does and you discuss giving up rights but didn't do it then in court, but aren't sure how you will do it because you can't get mom to show up for court and you don't seem to know how to contact her because you are asking for her address from the child support office??

To give up your rights you will have to get a lawyer and simply let them guide you on the proper procedures and what can and can't be done based on mom showing up or not. I wouldn't try to go it without a lawyer if you decide to do it.

[BrittanyandRob]

I apologize for mis-communicating. I have been to court several times to get visitation and establish a visitation schedule. Every time visitation has been denied by the courts. There is no valid reason. There were never any restraining orders, EPO's nothing. No history of violence. She was failure to appear about 5 times. She finally showed at about court date #6 or 7. I said if I can not get visitation Iwould like to surrender rights. The step-father which is the only father she knows wants to adopt her. My wife and I would prefer visitation so she can know her grand parents, her brother and my wife and myself. I am paying $60.00 a week for a daughter I have seen twice. Once to take diazpers over, and once at the DNA test.

[BrittanyandRob]

Furthermore. We have had lwayer that we just spent a year paying off. The lawyer was tehre. For the first 8 years of my daughters life visitation was denied. I am now tired of paying for a child I will never get the joy of knowing.

[BrittanyandRob]

Furthermore. We have had lwayer that we just spent a year paying off. The lawyer was tehre. For the first 8 years of my daughters life visitation was denied. I am now tired of paying for a child I will never get the joy of knowing.

[tawnynkids]

Wow umm honestly, a new lawyer comes to mind! I can't believe the lawyer you had not only couldn't get you visitation but also couldn't at the very least explain why the request for visitation was being denied. That makes absolutely NO sense to me. Unless the obvious has occurred in which you just flat had a rotten lawyer. Any how, in order to relinquish your rights you will need a lawyer. I am going to say as long as you are going to need a lawyer find a much better one and try for visitation again, or at the very least take all your court documents to a couple of different lawyers and find out if your case was handled properly, ask them to explain what your old lawyer couldn't and find out what your options are at this point. Sorry, that is truly the best advice I think you are going to find. Even letting go of hopes for visitation and settling with an adoption/relinquishing your rights still comes with a lot of legal procedures that really need to be handled by a lawyer.

[excon]

Hello Rob:

I spose you haven't been reading much on here, but we get that question several times a week.

Even if you got your rights terminated, you'll never get your obligation terminated - unless the new father adopts - and he's not going to do that because it's going to cost him $60 bucks a week. And, you can't make him.

excon

[BrittanyandRob]

The husband is willing to adopt her. We would not hand over rights unless someone else was taking the financial responsibilities. We don't want to hand her over but if visitation is continually denied, we shouldn't have to pay child support. My husband is getting denied the ability to know his daughter. He loves her regardless, but wants to know her, and like-wise for her to know and love him. T

[Fr_Chuck]

Yep it sounds like she would rather have the 60 bucks a month instead of her new husband adopting. ( most likely a car payment for them)
But yes a new attorney would come to mind.

If there is no reason not to be denied visits, more court action shouild be done,