[hotcakesnsyrup]

Ok, to start my boyfriend is the kind of guy who never wore a long sleeve shirt. I, in my two years of dating him have never seen him wear a long sleeve shirt of any kind. Then, about six weeks ago, after coming home from a visit with his parents, he was wearing a long sleeve black shirt. At first I thought nothing of it, figured it was a gift his parents gave him. The next day he was still wearing it, he had worn it to bed, and when I questioned as to why he still had it on, he said it felt comfortable to sleep in, but the way he said it just sounded suspicious. So a week goes by, and I noticed all he is wearing is long sleeve, dark colored shirts, and also I noticed he was constantly rubbing his arm, like it itched, or hurt or something. Then a few days ago we normally shower together (dont ask) but this time, he said he was going to take one on his own, so I said OK, and let him take his shower, and again, walking to the bathroom, he kept rubbing his arm. So the other night while he was asleep, I carefully slid his sleeve up to look at his arm, to see why he was rubbing it so much, and I counted a total of twenty five short cuts on his arm, like clean cuts like a knife might make, most of them had scarred up, but I was just so shocked to see this, and a friend told me about this site, and how helpful everyone here is, so, what do I do? I'm so worried about him. Do I ask him about the cuts? But then he'll know I spied on him in his sleep, I just have no clue what to do, or where to go from here, please help me out:(

[Xrayman]

He is a Cutter, he cuts himself to kind of torture himself for some bad feelings he has, he may have been abused-victims sometimes do this.

You will need to discuss this further with him ( be vary careful how you approach this) look up on Google about Cutting-self abuse

[Fr_Chuck]

It would appear that yes he is either cutting hisself, of he got into some sort of knife fight or accident when he was visiting his parents.

What directly was the cuts, up and down the arm, or across, were they in neat rows or all mixed up.

But it is obviouis he is hiding it, so bring it up, tell him about the shirts, the showering and ask him for an answer, ( since until you said about the cuts, my thought was drug use at first)

If he is cutting he needs to get help for this, since this is a seroius problem. If he was in a fight and got cuts up a lot, he needs a good kick in the... and told to grow up.

[templelane]

I agree with the above posters you should ask him directly. Perhaps he feels too ashamed to tell you/ hasn't gathered the courage yet. You never know, he may on some level be waiting for you to ask.

[MrsJoseph06]

Yea you need to confront him about it. He probably is cutting! But make sure when you do ask him about it that you present it in away of concern and love. He will be defensive about it most likely! I used to cut myself a lot because It was a way for me to be incontrol of the situation and getting hurt. It's a hard habit to break but it sounds like this is a new thing for him! Maybe something happened at his parents! Good luck!

[bumblebee1]

Cutting has little to do with whether you are sane. I used to be a cutter/burner, and the only explanation I can come up with is that I was in such despair and lonliness it was the only thing that made me feel good. I was a cutter on and off for about 6 years, but I was not insane, just felt like I was going crazy.

Go to him with love and comfort, show him that you care and love him. Obviously something is going on, something so painful that it makes him cut. Luckily now cutting is more understood and there are more resources. When I was younger everyone just thought I was a nut job, even my parents.