[startover22]

Yes communication, I am trying every day to make it better with my husband, and it isn't even bad right now. Hope to hear from you soon... with some great news.

[inthebox]

From the male perspective

Maybe he withdraws because
#1 " when he begs me to have sex." Work and fishing sound more attractive and fulfilling than begging for sex and getting rejected or 'lets just get this over with' kind of sex.
I'm not saying you do this all the time but your wording hints at it.

Perhaps a 'gurantee' of enthusiastic passionate sex AFTER a night out together [fishing?:>] talking and communicating with each other the way YOU want to will get the tables turned here. Nothing like good sex to get a guy to open up.

If you don't feel like you can enjoy or have the energy for sex tell him and reassure him its because of those honest reasons. Tell him you don't want to have sex because you don't spend enough nonsex time talking and doing things together.


2] He may feel second fiddle to your infant - sounds stupid, but guys need attention and support too.



Anyway, I'm no expert, and likely guilty of the same things as your husband, but I wish the both of you the best.

[NowWhat]

I have given the following advice on communication and thought I would share it with you too.

When talking to your husband about frustrations try to stay away from words like "Always" and "Never". Most likely someone isn't guilty of Always doing something or never doing something. And - don't start your sentences with "you" - it will put the other person on the defensive and make them feel like they are getting attacked. Try "I feel like this..." it will work much better.

I would also try getting a book or tape series called "men are from mars, women are from venus" I have the tape series and let me tell you - they worked for us. We tried counseling - but my husband was not ready for it - it didn't work for us at the time we tried it. We were given the tapes and boy, they really put things in perspective. It really gave us an understanding on how differently men and women communicate with one another. I have heard that there is a workbook out there that you can do together that is nice.
Good Luck.

[Tira68]

Is your husband even open to counseling? Your husband sounds a lot like my ex, and he wouldn't go to counseling. If he won't go you should. A counselor can help guide you on how to better communicate with your husband. The couselor told me to try and communicate with him by going to a public place to talk, like out to dinner. That way he would not try to pick a fight with me and mind his manners.

[gypsy456]

Inthebox... great you give a male perspective on this!
I am sure that there is an essence of truth in it.

As for the second fiddle... you may very well be right.
Sometimes we women forget that about men.

Great one here.
:)