[clearlikecrystals]

Im 18 and still a virgin... to many people that's young, but for me I have never dated and never had a boyfriend. It didn't really come across to me until now. I have self esteem issues and convinced Im the most ugly person on earth, also all my friends tell me Im not normal because I haven't dated or had sex before. I think I'm more likely going to die a virgin. Am I normal? Should I be ashamed of myself? Why do other girls look prettier than me?

[snapdragon]

You know what I think is not normal? 14 year olds having sex. There is nothing wrong with you. You'll just appreciate it a lot more when it happens then they did. You're 18 are you in college yet? Take that opportunity to become a new person. Nobody knows you there. Talk to people and pretend you're the most beautiful person in the world. If you believe it so will others.

[templelane]

Hey I didn't so much as kiss anyone until the week before my 18th birthday! I am in a happy relationship now (2 and a half years) and definitely not a virgin. Didn't miss out on much it seems 'cept for a lot of silliness. You'll find someone when you're not looking, when you're too busy being interested in life - people always find that attactive. Sounds like your friends have just been brainwashed by the media so count yourself lucky. Hang in there and don't let yourself get down about it.

[statixmx]

Still a virgin? A bad thing? No, this is a very good thing. In fact, I personally encourage you save it until you meet the right guy. You won't die a virgin. Just give it time. I'm sure you will meet the right guy sooner or later. Everyone tends to compare themselves to others and a lot of times it leaves us feeling bad about ourself because we aren't as good. Most of the time it's just yourself talk convincing yourself that you aren't as cute. This simply isn't true. Practice telling yourself over and over that you are pretty until you believe it. You'll be amazed in the changes that you will make in time. I think personality is more crucial then looks anyway.

[lauram]

What scares me is that you are 18 and still listening to your friends and others telling you when you should be doing the most intimate thing you'll ever do. Don't listen to them. Listen to your own heart and soul. If you have sex just so you can feel you did what others claim is normal I guarantee you will regret the experience. Besides, your friends are probably trying to justify their own behavior. Why would they care what you do and when you do it? It's none of their business and they know it.

As for your feelings about your appearance, I can tell you that as you grow older you will feel better about yourself. From the youngest age my mother made me feel ugly and fat because she was made to feel that way when she was a child. Looking back on old photos I see she was wrong. I'm now 50 and, though overweight, I don't feel ugly, because I've accomplished so much in my life that I'm proud of and because I enjoy being around people and focusing on them. Believe it or not, everyone is very aware of their supposed physical distortions, even the highest paid models. I bet you are not at all unlovely, inside or out. Don't give any of it away in sex to feel "normal" by someone else's standards.

[chuff]

Im 18 and still a virgin...to many people thats young, but for me I have never dated and never had a boyfriend.

I know a woman that was a virgin until she was 30. She openly talks about it I've never heard one person make fun of her for it. She's now in her early 40's and still looks great. The funny thing about dating is that someone pops into your life when you least expect it, so if your so focused on why don't I have anyone, maybe you should change your focus. Ironically, at least in my experience, it has the opposite effect as well. Just when I think something is going great and I'm going to be with this person is usually when I get dumped.

But take your focus off what you don't have and focus on what you do have. Focus on the positive, and if you start being positive and acting positive, that will bring new people into your life.

It didnt really come across to me untill now. I have self esteem issues and convinced Im the most ugly person on earth,

Well, you are wrong. Rosie O'donnell is the most ugly person on earth.

also all my friends tell me Im not normal because I haven't dated or had sex before.

So your friends mock you but sleep around say your not the normal one. Something about that doesn't make sense to me.

I think im more likely going to die a virgin. Am I normal?

God, I hope not. Normal is boring. Normal is what the masses do. Normal is well, normal. Stand out and be proud of you. Do things that excite you and if it pisses off your sluttly friends, screw them they really must not understand friendship and what it means.

should I be ashamed of myself? why do other girls look prettier than me?

I used to work with a woman that was overweight but always making jokes, smiling, and having a good time. I would have gone out with her in a heartbeat over some stuck up girl. In fact let me be totally honest with you and say that I used to date a swimsuit model and she was the most depressing person I've ever been around. She whined, complained, and never had a good thing to say about anybody, including her own friends. She also never said anything good about me, only she would actually say it to my face. I went out with her for a year and by the time I was done I was so depressed and just lifeless. Breaking up with her was great for me. She looked great but had nothing to offer other then that. I'm telling you develop a positive personality and you'll be surprised at just how far it will take you and how many men will fall for that.

My guess is the reason you have such trouble isn't looks at all, it's your constant beating of yourself up, the negativity. That drives people away. Work on that self esteem and the rest will follow.