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oklahomabound · May 5, 2007, 08:50 PM

I'm a 50 yr old married man, who just rediscovered my high school girlfriend. It has been 32 years since I've seen her. We have been emailing and talking on the phone for about a month now. I am not just "re-feeling" the way I felt for her, it is like a love I have never felt for anybody. We share the same feelings and wish we would stayed together back then or at least stayed in contact. We both are OK in our present marriages but, want each other so bad. I do not want to hurt my wife. But I feel that I could be even more happier. My girlfriend lives about 1500 miles away and yes, I have not seen her in person but, that does not make a difference. Actually, it probably has been a good thing, for time being.
I LOVE this girl. I still love my wife. Would I be making a big mistake if I left her? Has anybody else been in love, left their current spouse and found happiness? Is it possible? I know what is "right" and "wrong"... but the feelings are so, so strong. Thanks for any comments.

momincali · May 5, 2007, 08:59 PM

I think this has some serious potential for catastrophe. To think she hasn't changed and that you know her over email is a foolish mistake. Don't break up your family and renounce your vows for a feeling and a hunch. Be a man and be faithful and respectable. Feelings are not commitments, your vows are your commitments. You owe your wife at least that. You're having an emotional affair behind her back, where's the dignity in that?

AltaVista · May 5, 2007, 09:27 PM

Be very Very careful here - you could lose everything. It's easy to get caught up in the past. Way too easy! BTW, I'm in my 50's so I can speak from experience. I reconnected as well a few years ago, everything was amazing right up to the point that it cost me $5,000. - seems she was only out for revenge. Fortunately (?) it was only money. But whatever may be behind all of these feelings, you could ruin your marriage and the emotional lives of several people. And there is rarely any going-back to what was, once you've taken this step.
I strongly suggest you Do Not follow through with this.
Just my opinion...

Bluerose · May 5, 2007, 11:16 PM

I agree with the others and think it would be a mistake to get into this. Having said that, I think you have to see her if only to see the reality. I believe it's that or spending the rest of your life wondering. And every time you have a disagreement with your wife you may feel that you made a mistake by staying.

No. Out of respect for yourself and your wife see if you can get away on your own for a break and fix to see this person. I truly believe you will see that it's quite simply a case of the other man's grass being greener. Check it out, see it for what it is - you trying to recapture your youth - then go back and take your wife out for a lovely meal and give her the time of her life.

Allheart · May 6, 2007, 01:25 AM

Hi OKLA -

Nah, it wouldn't be a mistake - it would be a HUGE is mistake. I feel for you, I really do. But the "love" that you feel for this other lady, well, it's all nice and perfect and I am sure powerful, but it's selfish and in a way, really not based in reality. See, the love you have for your wife, now that is real. You and this other lady have not had to endure life's stresses together, as you and your wife have. Life's ups and downs that can tend to test a couples love. Seems to me you and your wife have well passed the test, why oh why would you do anything to hurt and risk losing a love that some wish they have.

Enjoy the love of your wife and the elements that you feel are missing, work on getting them back in your marriage.

To answer you last question "has anybody else been in love, left their current spouse and found happiness". Sorry, don't know any who have, but if they have hurt their spouse and demolished their life and marriage and went on to be happy, well, wouldn't really think too much of the person that they are. I think it would be truly difficult to find long lasting happiness, which was able to be from someone else's heart being broken.

I do wish you all the best. Think long and hard about this one.

fix-what-you-broke · May 6, 2007, 03:12 AM

I'm sure the person you knew back then isn't the person you know now.
You say you love your wife, I'm sorry and I'm not getting at you but if you did this other woman wouldn't have a chance. You have a life with your wife, and to break it all up for the sake of someone you haven't seen for 32 years is both foolish and selfish.
Love the one you are with, if you don't somebody else will... works for me.