[Sunshine141]

For those of you who have lived with your boyfriends for a while before getting engaged/married, how has getting married affected your relationship?

I have heard a few people say that even though you may have lived with your boyfriend for a few years (my case we have been living together for 3 and dating for 5) as soon as you get married things change and I was wondering in what way do they change?

Thanks! :p

[kyrazbak]

If you've been living with him for 3 years and things have been pretty much stayed the same as far as how you guys are getting along, etcetc... then most likely things will remain the same... Have you ever read the book "WHY MEN MARRY bit*hES" for me it was a good book... If you notice him starting to take you for granted which some guys do once they get comfotable, then the book gives you some really good advice on ways to handle him.. . Good luck!

[alkalineangel]

I lived with my boyfried for 3 years before marrying him and we had a child 1 year before marrying him. I never noticed a difference after the wedding except for the tax return we filled out. We are still the same as before. I think that the biggest problem that newlyweds have is getting used to living with their partner. I think you should live with them at least a year before marrying honestly... but some men do have an issue with that final "I do" and they get themselves nervous about being trapped... but that is another problem entirely.

[Rockabilly1955mama]

I lived with my boyfried for 3 years before marrying him and we had a child 1 year before marrying him. I never noticed a difference after the wedding except for the tax return we filled out. we are still the same as before. I think that the biggest problem that newlyweds have is getting used to living with their partner. I think you should live with them at least a year before marrying honestly...but some men do have an issue with that final "I do" and they get themselves nervous about being trapped...but that is another problem entirely.

Great advise.

[Tuscany]

I am so glad that I lived with my husband before we were married. Planning a wedding is stressful enough, I can't imagine moving, getting a new "roommate" and doing the planning all at the same time.

[Sunshine141]

Ya, our relationship has been doing great, we get along good, we are good at compromising, we don't get into many arguments and if we do we are usually able to come to some sort of agreement or understanding, we are both open with our financial stuff and don't hide anything... the only thing I would say needs some work is our social life.. we tend to stick together a bit too much but we both know that and do our best to break apart every now and then.

We're talking about getting married but we're stilll a little uneasy about it because of the whole feeling trapped thing, we are each other's first so it's scary to commit for both of us, not saying we don't want to it's just a big step to take and we're not sure if we're quite ready yet... I'm more ready than he is I think though lol! We are going on a vacation this year to make us feel like we're taking a step up in our relationship without having to commit just yet, I'm excited!

[alkalineangel]

Thanks! I just know that before we married (in the catholic church) we had to go through this marriage class that all catholic couples have to attend. And the only thing they taught you there was about how to live with another person. It had nothing to do with the marriage part. It would be the same stuff you would have to learn if you were moving in with friends... People all have their own routines and individual quirks, and sometimes its hard to both show someone else those things, and accept theirs... but once you have lived together and are used to those things, and haven't had a problem, your marriage should go well... given there is no surprise ten years down the road.. lol.

[alkalineangel]

Just don't force him if he isn't ready. Make the decision together. There is always plenty of time, and like I said, it is really no different than living together so no need to rush.

[Sunshine141]

Thanks, I agree with you guys... I can't see anything being different except for we both get to wear fancy rings lol. I was just curious because a few people mentioned that things change and I couldn't understand what would change, especially since I've lived with him for 3 years now and have seen pretty much everything and have come to terms with him leaving his clothes on the floor lol!

[alkalineangel]

Why is it they all do that?? I mean there is a hamper two feet away!? Half the time there is a trail of clothes leading to the empty hamper... I just don't get it..

[Sunshine141]

Hahaha I know, my boyfriend always leaves them within a few inches from the hamper or half hanging out of it... I just stopped trying to train him and said whatever.. there are more important things to worry about hehe. At least he takes the garbage out every week for me and will help with dishes if I ask nicely.

[Sunshine141]

Oh for laundry... if you get annoyed with them not emptying their pockets before putting it in or beside (lol) the hamper consider it laundry tax... that's what I told my man, if I find any $$ or cool things in his pocket that he left behind their mine for having to do laundry.

[alkalineangel]

Lol... yes, I choose my battles... the clothes I can handle... but the trash is a mans job, and I won that one.. lol

[alkalineangel]

I do that too... im talking 5 cents or 50 bucks... its mine... its my toll.

[Sunshine141]

Girls rule... we know how to work the system, haha!

[alkalineangel]

Its simple, really... we are right...

[Sunshine141]

Congrats on the pregnancy by the way!

[NeedKarma]

Y'know, guys have access to this thread too. :D

[Sunshine141]

Lol, it's all in good fun :)

[alkalineangel]

Thank you. :D

It's OK, the Guys know that we are right...