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neongazer · Apr 26, 2007, 03:50 PM

I was told 3 yrs ago that I had hpv. I had only have had one partner and he is now my husband, I have been unable to get in the mood to have sex. I know it is wearing on him. I just don't know how to get over and move on with out blaming him. I know that he did not know he had this virus and if her did I know he would have told me. I just need help, my marriage depends on it.

Thanks

LadyB · Apr 27, 2007, 06:15 AM

Originally Posted by neongazer

I was told 3 yrs ago that I had hpv. I had only have had one partner and he is now my husband, I have been unable to get in the mood to have sex. I know it is wearing on him. I just dont know how to get over and move on with out blaming him. I know that he did not know he had this virus and if her did I know he would have told me. I just need help, my marriage depends on it.

thanks

It has been estimated that 40-60+% of sexually active adults have some strain of HPV, so you are far from alone. Most cases are asymptomatic and cause no disruptions to your life. Just be sure to get regular PAPs as your risk of cervical cancer is increased.

As for getting over it emotionally, just realize that with such high percentages, even if he had only one partner other than you he could have gotten it, and never known he had it. Are you more angry that he gave you HPV, or that he had other sex partners? Can you find a way to forgive him? Blame and anger won't make the HPV go away, and will only hurt you in the long run. Perhaps you need to talk with a counselor if it is really affecting your relationship.

Best of luck

phillysteakandcheese · Apr 27, 2007, 09:23 AM

Stop thinking that you're "ruined", or "gone bad", or "worth less" just because you are HPV positive. None of those things are true. You haven't lost any "value" in who you are.

Don't let this control you.
It's not worth being unhappy over, and it's not worth ending your marriage over.

Adoredevotion · Apr 28, 2007, 06:48 AM

The wonderful thing here is HPV is treatable. I strongly recommend getting it treated as it can lead to cervical cancer. The usually treatment for HPV involves a LEEP procedure. It really is a simple procedure where the docotor takes an electrically charged loop and removes the abnormal tissue from the lining of the cervix. Common symptoms after the surgery are spotting and mild cramps. The best advice I can give you is to speak to your GYN and discuss your options. Also talk to him/her about deteriming whether your husband is definitely a carrier of HPV. Then at that time discuss with your docotr the best way to prevent getting infected again. Just cause you have or had HPV does not mean that you can't get pregnant or go one and enjoy and wonderfully long life. Speak with your doctor as they will be able to lead you in the right direction. Hope this helps.

Sincerely,
Adoredevotion

FLORENCE1085 · Aug 18, 2008, 12:34 PM

I have HPV that I got from my ex husband... the only partner I had ever had before the HPV and I thought it was horrible. I got cervical cancer and it taught me to get over it and live life. I still test HPV positive even after removing the cancer. My new man knows about it and he doesn't care. He takes me to the dr for my check up and holds my hand the entire time. Get over it!! It could be so much worse.