[aprilshowers]

I am debating on a divorce. My timing is not so great however, because I am in the first trimester of my first pregnancy. I do not think abortion is the answer, however my husband threats that he will take me to court for full custody. The baby is not even born yet though... what can happen here? I don't want to go to court, I just want to leave- and get out of this terrible relationship- and not look back. What are my rights with an unborn child- it is not due until the end of the year.
-Concerned in CA

[Fr_Chuck]

So he threatens, so do the 1000's of abusive husbands that want to control the women.
Almost NEVER , EVER does the man get full custody if the women is breathing and not a danger to the baby, I have seen hooker drug users keep custody of their baby because they were still a good mother to the child.

He is trying to scare you, expect his next threat to do you harm if you leave, if he sees this not working.

What he is really saying is he does not want to pay child support for the next 18 years.
So you leave and as soon as the baby is born, you file against him for child support and perhaps to allow him limited visitation. And if he wants to try to prove you are unfit, that will be up to him.

[1badchoice]

I know your looking for something to ease your fears and anxiety. The problem is, your husband knows more buttons to push and how to hurt you emotionally. The things he is saying is just that... words. They only have the power you allow them to have. Try to put on foot in front of the other. One step at a time. You know you want to leave. Do it. It will be many months before the baby is born. As Fr_Chuck says... he is extremely unlikely to get full custody. Just doesn't happen without major reasons. It sounds like you know what you want to do and he is trying whatever he can to get you to NOT leave. Good luck. Cathy