[cubswin2016]

Okay. I'm a 23 year old male, I have very little experience with relationships and am extremely introverted. I met this girl, 22, though and we hit it off, began dating and really getting to know each other. We go to the same uni and share a lot in common. She's great. I really enjoyed spending time with her and being with her. But she wanted me to spend more time with her than I was comfortable with. Sometimes I just like to be by myself and spend days alone and she said she needed more than I was giving her. I did try to spend more time with her but I pushed her away because I felt like things were getting too serious and didn't commit as much to the relationship as I could, mostly because I don't know how. I don't get close to people and always cut people off when they begin to get too close. I didn't text her really and would only chat a bit in the class we had together. She said it didn't feel like relationships she saw from other people or like a romantic relationship at all. I'm sad I can't give her what she wants and we agreed to just be friends. But I love her. Despite everything, she is the only person I've felt this comfortable around. I do want to try one more time to make it work. It has only been three days since we ended things but I can't get her out of my head. I'm just.. very sad I guess. We are on great terms still and even got lunch today, but I don't want to just be friends. Should I try to get her back or am I just being selfish? I'm not really sure what to do. I think I made a mistake.

[talaniman]

How long did this relationship last? How long did you date? Even if you tried again what would change? Would you commit more? What if she jut rather be friends and not interested in a "title"? Was she really moving too fast, or was what she wanted from you too fast for you? Be interested on your answers to those questions.

My take my inexperienced friend is you made a friend, had fun, and things fizzled. That's what most relationships do actually. They don't advance further than a short time and fizzle out. What you must look at seriously is when you wrote this,

I felt like things were getting too serious and didn't commit as much to the relationship as I could, mostly because I don't know how. I don't get close to people and always cut people off when they begin to get too close. I didn't text her really and would only chat a bit in the class we had together. She said it didn't feel like relationships she saw from other people or like a romantic relationship at all.

If you are not willing to give her a LOT more time, and attention, the way she wants you too, you may as well just leave her alone, and accept the just friends agreement you made. You can see what she says about another try but you better be fully prepared for her to not like that idea. How would you feel then?

Don't get so stuck on this girl though, because that's a waste of time, and emotions, when you can be getting ready for your next experience, and learn the lesson from this one that should teach you how to let people into your world, and be a part of theirs. LOL, learning how to share with others, especially "a girlfriend" is a messy process. Sometimes it works for a while, sometimes you get dumped, or even dump them.

The last thing you need to think is this is the ONLY female you will be comfortable with because that's not true. There are many undiscovered potential mates to find, so why linger over this one when she just want to be friends? You are free (As is she by the way!) to date anyone you choose, and explore and experiment in your world.

The real question is can you LEARN from this experience, no matter how this "friend" stuff works out, and do better NEXT time? Can you be a REAL friend, and not a lovesick pest? That Is what you AGREED to.