[Dingbat]

All right here's the situation: I've been going out with my girlfriend for about a month and a half now, and lately she's been kind of distant. We would hangout here and there, but she hasn't really been calling me much. Then the other night she told me she felt confused about me. So I asked her what she meant, and she kept saying, "I don't know." She would give me some reasons here and there about how she is a detached person and is afraid of getting close to people. She also said that she has been getting annoyed with little things I do. She was telling me about the way I looked at her made her feel like I liked her a lot. Though I am not one of those creepy guys that gets obsessed with a girl and stares at them all weird. I wasn't even aware that I look at her in the way that she suggests. She told me that she felt more comfortable when we weren't officially girlfriend/boyfriend, when we were just seeing each other. She was also telling me about her past relationships, that they got to a point where she felt like she couldn't breath and needed to end them immediately. Then she proceeded to say maybe we wanted this to both work, and at that point I got angry and had to disengage from the conversation. I really didn't want to say something mean, because it almost seemed like a bunch of BS to me. When I stepped away from the conversation, told her I needed a second, and hung up the phone with her. While I was away, she left me messages on my phone saying that she didn't mean what she said, and she really wants me in her life. After a bit I got back on the phone with her and she was crying. I talked some things out with her, but she still kept telling me she doesn't know why she's been feeling this way. So I suggested that we give it some time and see what happens and if it doesn't work out, then we'll brake up.

But see the thing that scares me, is the whole confusion thing and the whole "not knowing why." I mean the same thing has happened in my past relationships, but I found out that those girls were cheating on me and were continuously lying about it to me. And this situation with my girlfriend, now, makes me nervous. I definitely don't want to become untrusting of her, but the whole confusion thing makes me feel very uncomfortable. She honestly could just be confused. But I don't know what to do, other then give her space.

Well I just wanted to say thanks if anyone has any advice, comments, or suggestions. Thank you.

[shapedup]

OK I sort of see where both of you are coming from, I am in a similar situation at the moment, yet I still do not have it in me to commit to the guy as I don't know what he wants (apart from the fact we are the complete opposite)
Maybe we can help each other? Ill start by trying to give you some advice...
Firstly I would say either sit down with the girl and talk to her, like ask her what she wants from a relationship and tell her what you want! Say for example you want sex from the start and she doesn't compromise, tell her you will wait (if you like her you should respect her view anyway), just get into a deep conversation about how you both feel about each other, what you both want, and during that try and find out why she finds it hard to commit herself without pushing your nose in too far!
Or the other option would be to casually break it off for a bit, cool down and slow down, give her time to think, if she wants you she will realise and get in touch with you. I'm not saying completely cut her dead, but perhaps just cut down on how much you see her, speak to her, text her etc. but I would warn her before doing that as otherwise it would leave her more confused!
I speak these opinions, based on the way I feel in the situation I am in, I would like either of the above to happen to me, preferably the first option. As in my situation he says he likes me, he's texts a lot, he goes out his way to talk to me, we feel comfortable around each other and can tell each other anything, but I find it hard to commit because we have completely oppsotie personalities and I'm scared he is just after sex, because his friends are like that too and I know he is heavily influenced by his mates!
Please read my post though called sex or love and see if you could give me any tips, from a lads point of view that would be amazin I would really appreciate it!
If you want to ask anything else just ask me! Ill do my best to help!

[shapedup]

cool all the best with trying that, I would be over the moon if he sat down with me and said llok what do you want etc etc, so if she feels like I do then I'm sure she will too and if it works well believe me that chat will bring you closer together.
thanks for your advice, I have important exams coming up and I really do not need relationship stress on top of it all, therefore after a very long chat and a slight hint from him himself (as he texts yesterday and today have been a lote briefer) I think I am going to try and cool it, so I can allow my mind to think in its spare time, if that makes sense, and if he is still around in the summer after my exams and is still as keen as ever.. who knows?? But for know I think I still fear the idea of commitment too much!
thanks again, please keep in touch and let me know how you get on! =)