[ebewley]

I am preparing a will and I want my oldest son to stay with his baby brother if anything were to ever happen to me (they have different fathers). I asked his biological father to sign an agreement saying that and he said no. He only sees my oldest son once a year for 2-3 days. Are there any legal measures that I can take to insure that this happens.

[chippers]

You can't force someone to take custody if they don't want to. The fact he only sees his son only once a year should send up red flags. You could ask a family member or a trusted friend to be legal gaurdians. THat should be added to the will. The fact you're making the provisions shows good insight and that you truly care about your children.
Check with your states legal aide as to what has to be added so custody could not be disputed. Also make a note somewhere that you approached you oldest son's father and he refused.

[alkalineangel]

I think she meant that he refused to let her give custody of her youngest son to the oldest son in the event of his death... not custody to the bio dad... just curious why not the bio dad?

[Fr_Chuck]

If you pass away, and the children's fathers have not given away their rights, they will have legal standing to ask for custody of the courts.
You will need them to agree or there is little you can do except be sure there is plenty of insurance for a court fight if you die.

[ebewley]

Let me clarify, if something happens to me I want my husband to have custody of my oldest son (he is not the father), if both my husband and I die I want my boys to stay together and I don't want my oldest sons biological father to have them.

[ebewley]

[QUOTE=just curious why not the bio dad?[/QUOTE]


When I got pregnant it wasn't planned, at first he didn't want anything to do with my son, when I moved home he was convinced that I wasn't pregnant, after I proved to him that I was it wasn't his, after I proved that he didn't say anything to my for th first five months that my son was born. He didn't see him until 7 months, and the 14 months then 24 months and now the latest time was 34 months. Except for the first time he won't see him unless I bring my son to him. He doesn't call or show concern and everything in his life is more important to him than my child.

[alkalineangel]

After your clarification post, I understand now, and the bio dad question is irrelevant, I thought you didn't want your youngest son's dad to have custody for some reason... I didn't know you were talking about the other bio dad... I totally misunderstood what you were asking, sorry. How old is your oldest son?

[ebewley]

My oldest son will be 3 in June

[ScottGem]

Does the bio father pay child support for the older son? If so, you can ask him to relinquish his rights and let your husband adopt him. That way there can be no question about guardianship and the bio father will no longer have to pay.

But if he doesn't relinquish his rights, you can specify guardianship in your will, but the bio father could fight it and possibly win.

[ebewley]

The biological father pays child support, although he is not on the birth certificate. He refeuses to sign off on his parental rights

[ScottGem]

Then there is little you can do. You can still specify who you want as the guardian. If you have Sole custody, that should do it, but he could fight it and might win.

[froggy7]

let me clarify, in the event that something happens to me i want my husband to have custody of my oldest son (he is not the father), in the event that both my husband and I die i want my boys to stay together and i dont want my oldest sons biological father to have them.

Given the fact that the older son is only 3 years older than the youngest, you better do some legal research on who can be a guardian to them, in case you and your husband both die while they are minors. It seems to me that it would be an unfair burden on the older child to make them a guardian of a kid so close to them in age. If that's not what you meant, forgive my misreading.

[ebewley]

At this age I don't want my oldest to be the guardian, I just want them to be together