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Kells1121 · Nov 29, 2015, 08:07 AM

My ex was given sole custody of our two daughters in Oct of this year . I raised them for the first ten yrs with no help from him . Since he was granted sole custody he has moved clear across the state and has left the kids with his mother . She is abusive and my oldest daughter has ran away time after time because of this . My younger daughter is scared to say anything bad that happens and covers things up for them . He has not told the courts he has moved , he is trying to lie and say he is just away ' working ' but he resides in that town clear across the state . They reside here with his mother . I am supposed to have weekends and holidays and such that I share with him on a rotating schedule and every other weekend but neither him or his mother allow me to have my visits . My oldest is in juvenile detention right now and could be released but he is not here to get her released to him and he says he doesn't want her to get out anyway . I ve been told she has nowhere to go is why the courts haven't released her but she does I'm the other parent . She has court on Tuesday and they are trying to push me out of the pic and release her to his mother as he won't be there . Isn't it the law that she either goes to him or I , not the grandparent who has no type of custody ?

talaniman · Nov 29, 2015, 10:19 AM

Unusual for an ex to have sole custody after 10 years with you, and raises doubts about getting custody of a daughter in detention. There must be some rather strong reasons the grandmother is given a preference over you though, and the law serves the best interest of the child, not necessarily the parents or grand parents.

What am I missing in this question? I think a lot depends on how he got full custody after 10 years.

J_9 · Nov 29, 2015, 10:23 AM

Originally Posted by talaniman

Unusual for an ex to have sole custody after 10 years with you, and raises doubts about getting custody of a daughter in detention. There must be some rather strong reasons the grandmother is given a preference over you though, and the law serves the best interest of the child, not necessarily the parents or grand parents.

What am I missing in this question? I think a lot depends on how he got full custody after 10 years.

I might be missing something, but the grandmother wasn't given preference, the father was, and the father left the children with the grandmother. That would mean the children are living with someone who has no legal rights to them.

The OP needs to contact the court to let them know that the father is in violation.

ScottGem · Nov 29, 2015, 03:23 PM

If the court has ordered visitation, the first time that visitation is denied, you go back to court and ask that the custody be reviewed since the custodial parent is not following the court order. You need to be able to provide proof of this. How old are the children? If the older daughter ran away, how was she recovered. As soon as this happened Family Services should have gotten involved and reviewed the home situation.
I agree there is smoothing not being said here.

Fr_Chuck · Nov 29, 2015, 11:26 PM

I will agree, there is something not being told, as to why a father, who was not involved in the kids life, has gotten custody.

That information can help define an answer better.

But the court does not know, and a father does not have to tell the court anything.

You may file a motion and return to court, to try and enforce visitation, and/or ask for a change in custody since the father is not keeping the children. And the abuse issue, if any.