[krymargar29]

I want to make a notorized letter stating my mother will have custody of my children should something happen to me. Their father is a sex offender who I DO NOT want to have custody. How can I do this?

[JudyKayTee]

You can write exactly what you've stated. In the event of your death (or total incapacity) you want your mother to take custody of your children and raise them. Sign in the presence of a notary. It will make you feel better.

Unfortunately, it's not legally binding. Does the sex offender father have visitation? PROVE he is unfit, get visitation taken away from him, give him one more thing to overcome in the event he wants custody upon your death.

Children aren't puppies. You can't "assign" them to other people. The father would have the first right to raise them.

I know it doesn't seem fair. I'd be upset, too, if he's unfit. So PROVE he's unfit and get that taken care of now so your mother doesn't have to prove it later.

[Fr_Chuck]

Yes , write the letter, have it signed in front of a notary, and if it makes you sleep better great.

As for as legal, sorry a notary is merely a legal witness. It will not stand up in court, since it is not court ordered. Also sole custody does not mean the father does not have rights,

Next what type of sex offender, did he have sex with a 15 year old girl who agreed, or did he rape someone, or did he molest a child. Is he proven threat to his own children.
All of that makes a difference.

So you get a large life policy to be paid to the person who you want to have custody. So they can fight this in court.
They will need to prove in court that he is a threat to his children and that they would be a better place.

So unless you can NOW, get his rights taken away ( which is very unlikely) the bio father will have a right to ask for custody.

In fact he can even ask for visits now, he may only get supervised, but even as a threat, he could get supervised.

[ScottGem]

One other point. What you are really talking about is a will. A Will is a legal document stating what you want done with your assets upon your death. Most attorneys will make a will for a few hundred dollars if it is simple.

But its still not legally binding. You can't will children. So your better alternative is to try and get his rights terminated.

[krymargar29]

Their father plead guilty to aggravated sexual assault of a child. He molested at least 3 that I know about and tried to fondle his own son before he was incarcerated. He will have supervised visitation when he is released and will have to register as a s.o. thank you all for your helpful information!

[JudyKayTee]

You can always go to Court and attempt to strip him of his parental rights. It almost NEVER is a successful action but these are your children and you never know.

Did you know any of his history when you had his children - or did you think he changed?

[ScottGem]

Their father plead guilty to aggravated sexual assault of a child. He molested at least 3 that I know about and tried to fondle his own son before he was incarcerated. He will have supervised visitation when he is released and will have to register as a s.o. thank you all for your helpful information!

You said he will have supervised visitation, is this by court order? Did you try to terminate his rights?

Given his history, I doubt if a court will allow him custody. So a will specifying who you want to be guardian may, actually be upheld. I would suggest that you word the will something like:

Given the father's history of sexual abuse of children I do not believe he can or will be given custody of our child. Therefore, I would prefer that my mother <insert name> should become guardian of my child.

[JudyKayTee]

It's been stated very clearly but I will add the following quote. Also, I note that some specific States (Indiana is one) has a process where there is a Hearing scheduled automatically upon death of the custodial parent to determine the best custodian for the child until a full Hearing can be conducted. It appears that your wishes would be followed, at least at the Hearing for a temporary order.

I also read that if a parent is deemed "unfit" and requires supervised visitation in a DIVORCE decree the non-custodial parent will have a very difficult time obtaining custody.

"The death of a custodial parent raises a variety of legal issues, the most important being who assumes custody of the children. Although some variations exist in custody laws from state to state, statutes addressing the custody of children following the death of the custodial parent largely are the same, according to "Child Custody A to Z" by Guy J. White.

Presumption - The presumption under the family law statutes across the country is that the surviving, noncustodial parent assumes custody of the children upon the death of the custodial parent, according to the American Bar Association Section of Family Law. Although this course is presumed, exceptions occur depending on the circumstances of a particular case. For example, if the court previously suspended the noncustodial parent's visitation because of concerns for the children's welfare, the judge is not at all likely to transfer custody to that parent, at least initially.

Misconceptions - Of the misconceptions associated with child custody and death is the authority of the custodial parent to plan arrangements for the children to become effective upon her death. For example, some individuals wrongly assume that a custodial parent can set out in his will what he wants done with the children, a decision that overrides the rights of the noncustodial parent. In fact, assuming the noncustodial parent is alive, such a provision is generally of no effect, according to the American Bar Association Section of Family Law.

Time Frame - Immediately upon the death of a custodial parent, a court typically is called upon to issue an emergency temporary custody order. Usually the children are placed in the custody of the other parent or another family member until the court conducts a thorough hearing regarding a more permanent custody arrangement for the children.

Standard - A court is called upon to develop a custody arrangement and order that is in the best interests of the children after the death of the custodial parent, according to Cornell University Law School. Although the noncustodial parents has rights, as might other family members, ultimately the focus of a judge is on what custody plan best meets the needs of the children."
Child Custody & Death | LIVESTRONG.COM

[krymargar29]

Yes, supervised visits per court order. I had no idea about ANY of this until I was pregnant with my 2nd child. Had I known, I not only WOULDN'T have married him, I wouldn't have had a family with him. Thanks again!