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cassy1990 · Apr 17, 2007, 04:37 PM

Me and my boyfriend broke up on Sunday. I'm devastated he called me right now and told me that he can't be with me because he's not good for me. The thing with him is that he just lost 4 of his closest friends in the past 6 or 8 months. He can't get over it and he is going to therapy and stuff. After his best friend since he was 2 died, we met ( a month after his death ) in a way I think that god sent me to him because I helped him get out of the point he was in his life which was suicidal. When we broke up he didn't tel me why he just ended it. When he finally called me he told me that he loved me but wanted someone better for me. He was never the type of guy to accept good things in life because of all that he's been through. I told him that just for once take something good and try your best to take care of it. And I now I'm something good in his life because he's changed so much since I last was with him... I want to be with him and I want everything to be OK no more sad moments just happy.. but I need to know what I can do to help him in the situation of him and his friends. If I can go to therapy with him and try to listen to him while there's a therapist in the room or something.. I don't know I need more options please

What do I do?

krittengirl · Apr 17, 2007, 06:04 PM

If you think it is possible that he is broke up with you because he is suicidal again, don't wait. Contact your school counselor first thing in the morning. Even if he doesn't go to your school, your counselor can get help for him. If he is not suicidal, then just don't push him back into the relationship. Just be his friend, and don't let him push you away as a friend.

Emland · Apr 17, 2007, 06:13 PM

Sounds like he has a lot going on and maybe a relationship is just too much for him. Just be there for him and when he is ready, perhaps things can move forward again.

Agree with krittengirl, if he is showing suicidal signs, alert his parents, school counselor or clergy right away.

Fr_Chuck · Apr 17, 2007, 06:15 PM

I will agree, often those needing help the most, they push those close to them away.

jessincali · Apr 17, 2007, 07:09 PM

Hi Cassy -

I'm not sure how old you are.. the only reason I'm asking is because this is a lot for someone to be dealing with, especially if you are of high school age.
My advice is that you just be his friend. He is way too emotionally unavailable at the moment to be in a relationship with you and the best thing he needs right now is a friend. Just be there for him and encourage that he talk to someone (probably a professional) about it.
Maybe in a few years down the road you can get together again... maybe not. In the mean time - just be his friend.
Good luck!