Arghhhh what to do

ALI3N · Aug 10, 2005, 07:36 AM

Were to start OK I'm 34 and she's 32 we have 2 kids boy9 and a girl 2 we been going out with each other for 10 years.we had up and downs like all pll get.but when we moved into are new home I thought things would get better but only ended up worse.. so I left with no other choice I ended up in a hostle but waiting for my flat to be sorted,any way after about 4 weeks I went to see her and we talked,she said she need time living on her own but still wanted me to see she and see how we got on living apart,after 4 months having some great times it seem to be going fine,then on one Sunday morning she told me she wanted to be on her own again,even though she told me the past 4 months I've been seeing her I did nothing wrong,she says she getting this block with me and thinks things will go back like before I moved out.I really do love her but I feel the time and effot I've put in the last 4 months was a waste.its like I tried for nothing.sooo lost atm what to do.

Wildcat21 · Aug 10, 2005, 08:51 AM

I have a lot of questions...

1. How did you act around her, treat her?? I hope well, but I also hope you were not SOFT and always give into her? Too agreeable?

2. Did you get very lazy in your relationship? I have a feeling you did - it's usually the guy. Worst thing a guy can do.

3. Were you TOO needy-clingy recently?? Turns woman way off?

You need to get her back - but it's YOU that has to change. You.

ALI3N · Aug 10, 2005, 09:58 AM

1.I treated her fine we went out,did stuff together, agreeable yes ,let her work in a 30+ singles club while I had the kids.

2.relationship? I would show my love but she did not show any love back it was like I had to do all the work sometimes that bad I had to ask for a kiss.lazy? I was out of work on and off main prob of money worrys.

3 Were you TOO needy-clingy recently?I would say I was when I was with her the 4 months but only see her once in the week and weekends to have the kids while she worked to help her out.

Wildcat21 · Aug 10, 2005, 10:28 AM

Yeah that's tough - I am sure the work thing cut into it.

Maybe you were way too available? Even in a committed long term relationship you need some mystery,

There are a lot of relationship tactics you can do to make her fall for you again.

I DO advise going to this site and read EVERY free article www.lovetactics.com

There is a ton of valuable relationship information there.

Wildcat21 · Aug 10, 2005, 10:33 AM

I can give you a few ideas later. You want to re-create attraction for you.

ALI3N · Aug 10, 2005, 10:41 AM

Thanks for the info Wildcat21 ill keep u posted how things go

Wildcat21 · Aug 10, 2005, 12:13 PM

You have to work through - you need to change. Learn to be MORE independent. Think things differently - woman do think the way we do what so ever. Communicate with her - LISTEN!! Listen to what SHE ahs to say - no interuptions. You should sit down and talk!!

Next time you see her sit down AND TALK!! Let her spill her guts - no interuptions. Listen!! I am sure she has a million things she wantsto say.

ALI3N · Aug 12, 2005, 08:26 AM

Well I went to see the kids today... as I walked in I seen a black bag on the kitchen table and she says it all to late I can't see you anymore what's left of your clothes are there and its not like your going to stay ,she made it quite clear that she wanted to be on her own,and not see me any more,but said you can see the kids any time you want to.im lost

Wildcat21 · Aug 12, 2005, 08:36 AM

Well, I advise to give her space for now. No contact unless it's strictly to see the kids. YOU PULL BACK!! No needy-clingy - act like this is fine. NO desperation - no needy-clingy. Your life is fine without her - on the outside.

I have a feeling you're too soft around her? Be a man.

Don't give her anytime for now.

Also - improve yourself. Learn about woman. These are more tests you keep failing.

Please go to this site and read all the articles www.lovetactics.com