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Alty · Mar 18, 2015, 03:38 PM

Originally Posted by Hollz

Yes. I think it is better to get it over with than worry about 'what ifs' forever. Plus its not normally as bad as you build it up to be in your head.

Get what over with? Telling her parents, or having sex?

isabella14 · Mar 18, 2015, 07:04 PM

Would you be angry as a parent if your kid had done something they knew was wrong and they told you? Or how would you react?

Cat1864 · Mar 18, 2015, 07:28 PM

Originally Posted by isabella14

Would you be angry as a parent if your kid had done something they knew was wrong and they told you? Or how would you react?

As a parent I would be upset and angry. How upset and angry would depend on the situation. I would be less upset if my child told me than I would be if I found out from someone else.

Consequences would depend on what happened and bad they allowed the situation to get before they told me.

When my children were younger (they are now adults), I gave them the rules that I expected them to follow. If they chose to disobey and there wasn't a good reason, then there were consequences. One major consequence was having to regain my trust.

Sometimes anger and upset are better than lost trust. Anger and upset generally fade faster than it takes to rebuild trust.

J_9 · Mar 18, 2015, 07:30 PM

Originally Posted by isabella14

Would you be angry as a parent if your kid had done something they knew was wrong and they told you? Or how would you react?

It would depend on what they did that was wrong. There is not one answer for every scenario.

isabella14 · Mar 18, 2015, 07:56 PM

I have something that's bothering me and I want to talk to my parents about it but if I do then id have to admit to stuff I shouldn't have done. Do you think they will listen to me or just flip out.

Cat1864 · Mar 18, 2015, 09:25 PM

Probably a bit of both. First reaction may be to get upset. It is a very normal parental reaction. However, they will hopefully calm down long enough to listen.

Do you usually have a good relationship with your parents? How do they usually react when you do something wrong?

isabella14 · Mar 18, 2015, 10:24 PM

Originally Posted by Cat1864

Probably a bit of both. First reaction may be to get upset. It is a very normal parental reaction. However, they will hopefully calm down long enough to listen.

Do you usually have a good relationship with your parents? How do they usually react when you do something wrong?

I have a OK relationship with my parents I use to be closer to them but its not as easy now I'm older. They usually punish me or give me a lecture and tell me how disappointed they are in me. I'm just freaking out there like that when I don't do my chores, fight with my bother just when I do little things wrong. If I speak to them about what's bothering me then I have to admit that I done heaps worse then those things, I don't know how they will react and that scares me, but I'm afraid if I don't tell them they might find out or I might go nutty from lack of sleep. Would love to switches places with my friend her decision is easy just say no

ScottGem · Mar 19, 2015, 04:44 AM

As the others said, it depends on what was done. But I know I would be a lot angrier if I found out about another way. Honesty goes a long way to mitigating issues.

talaniman · Mar 19, 2015, 05:26 AM

Would love to switches places with my friend her decision is easy just say no

She thinks she is in love, and it's hard to just say NO, but as her friend, YOU have to be honest about her flawed ideas, for all the good that may do. The choice is really up to her, as are the consequences. At least now you know what to say to her, which is just tell her the truth. That's what a friend does.

She is wrong to disobey her parents by having a boyfriend in the first place so every decision she makes will be just wrong as the first. Her feelings are stronger than her common sense.

You just keep telling her she is wrong, and making it worse. You can't make her do right though.

Alty · Mar 19, 2015, 03:57 PM

I'd be upset, but I'd listen. I'd be grateful that my kids came to talk to me before things got worse, no matter what they did.

The reason parents get upset is because we love our kids. We don't want our kids to get hurt, we don't want our kids to put themselves in positions where they could get hurt. It's scary as a parent. We have very little control over what our children do once they're teens, and it's a scary world out there. We get upset because we don't want anything bad to happen to our kids. We don't want them to make a mistake that can cost them for the rest of their lives.

Talk to your parents. They may be upset, they may punish you, but they'll only do it because they love you.

It's obviously bothering you that you're keeping secrets from them. Let it out, tell them what's going on, and whatever ends up happening you'll deal with it together. Okay?