[Ashleyhaith16]

Hi I need your help, well let me start at the beginning. Me and this girl were friends like sisters and then when the summer came we didn't talk at all and when school started we didn't talk, and then we got into a fight and then she told me she never wanted to be friends and from that day forward. We have not talk and the thing is I miss her and I have develop feelings for her and I don't know what to do.

Please help me because I really miss her. I miss talking to her. I miss her smile and I have tried everything to get her to talk to me but nothing has worked and I am just all out of ideas, so please help me?

[Wondergirl]

Developed feelings for her? romantic ones?

[Ashleyhaith16]

You could say that

You could say that

[Wondergirl]

How can you have feelings for her if you haven't anything to do with her for nine months or more?

[Ashleyhaith16]

In those nine months I have been feeling things for her and I cant stop these feelings

[dontknownuthin]

Maybe she is straight and picked up in your feelings. If they are not mutual, ending the friendship might be for the best. When you feel that for someone, it is hard to feel something less and if they aren't into it, it just gets uncomfortable for both of you. I'd have the same advice if she was a guy friend.

[Ashleyhaith16]

Same here

[Ashleyhaith16]

But the thing is I miss her so much and the one thing I want is for her to be my friend again but I don't know how to do that at all

[J_9]

How old are the two of you?

[Wondergirl]

But the thing is I miss her so much and the one thing I want is for her to be my friend again but I don't know how to do that at all

It doesn't sound like you will be able to repair this. Do you see her every day?

[Ashleyhaith16]

Yes I see her everday

[J_9]

Again. How old are you all? Our advice will be different if you are 12 than if you are 18.

[Ashleyhaith16]

I am 16

[dontknownuthin]

It's often healthier to manage compulsive feelings, such as to go after this friend (when you really feel something other than friendship for her). We all have disappointments such as frustration that someone else does not feel for us what we feel for them. I have had my heart broken, certainly by men who I really felt this huge thing for, and who really didn't seem to even notice that I existed, or just treated me like one of the guys. I have to laugh - I had a one-on-one plan with one guy friend who I was sure I was "in love with" and I showed up dressed up- heels, dress - the whole 9 yards. This was many years ago in the early 80s when I was in high school, and kids did NOT dress like that unless we were going to a wedding or a funeral. We lived in jeans, sweatshirts and flannel shirts - the style of the time was sloppy, which we thought was cute. Of course, he asked "did you just come from a funeral?" and said nothing about how nice I looked. Years later - when we both were in college together - he asked me to marry him and I fell off my bar stool (literally) because it made me laugh so hard. I had learned he was gay and God bless him, he was earnest with his question but it was so ridiculous because there was no way that he was attracted to me - or any woman on the planet - at all. I didn't want to laugh but I had chased this guy forever and a day, or so it felt like, and by the time I learned he was gay it was a huge relief. We remained friends, but recognized often that most people in our situation could not have. Looking back, it would have been better for me if we had parted ways. I put so much effort into understanding his world, I sacrificed a lot of time learning about my own - and believe me, in the 80s, the straight and gay worlds definitely were not together as they are today. If someone lets the friendship go with you, just let them. They need to move on and so do you.