[damnineedhelp]

Hello! I am 28, she is 21. We started our relationship when my 2 months old relationship wasn't going to well and when her almost 3 years old relationship wasn't going to well, either. I was feeling neglected, her relationship was a long distance one. That girl broke up with me about 4 days after I hooked up with this girkl,and she broke up 1 week ago. So we talked and agreed to give our relationship a chance. This weekend we went to the mountains. But before that, I noticed that she was texting a guy kind of a lot while she was with me. So at the mountains I looked in her phone and saw messages which were kind of cheesy, e.g. darling, sweetheart etc. I told her she said that this guy is married he is from her hometown bla bla and that they know each other from childhood and she doesn't have like him.They started talking because when she went home,to her hometown (2 weeks ago) she met with him after a long time. I said OK,those discussions do not look right, please end them or else I will end ours, since they don't look OK. She said OK.

Yesterday she told me that she received an sms from that guy telling her that although he promised her he will not bother her again, he couldn't stop it. I told her OK no problem he will stop it in the end. Today we met at a restaurant, she went to the bathroom I looked in her phone since I had some doubts and saw a last message sent by her 5 hours after she had received the message from him that she told me about. She told him ȚȘ)) he didn't knowȚ. My concluion is that she still speaks with him and she forgot to delete it.

Tonight she comes over at my place. How shall I react? I don't want to get mad or insult her, because we really have a good time together usually so if we are to break up, I don't want to break up with a fight. I just want to know why. How shall I approach her? Because I told her that in March we will go to Paris, and I will pay for everthing and in June in Amsterdam. I mean, why would she do that?

[CravenMorhead]

Your initial questions is easily answered, ask them. That is the only way you will figure it out from them.

You snooped on her phone. Sign of a lack of trust which is understandable, you both were in a relationship together before ending your previous relationships, Ie cheating. So there has to be the niggling doubt in both your minds of the commitment of the other. Regardless, you're also tossing out ultimatums too, him or me, and that is never a sign of a healthy relationship, even one that is only a month or two old.

I think she's playing the field and you're the next guy until she finds something she wants. There is nothing but bad vibes here I am getting.

[damnineedhelp]

You might be very right. But I don't know,I feel like I want her to tell me this,or the reson why. And I don't want to get into a fight.How shall I approach her?

[joypulv]

Wait a second - she broke up with her boyfriend ONE WEEK AGO? Or am I reading this wrong?

If this relationship is new, you have absolutely zero right to be demanding anything. In fact, I think you are wrong even if it's been longer, because she says he's just a childhood friend, and if you can't believe her, then the relationship is doomed anyway. So you need to not have any girlfriend until you can be more trusting, not to mention more willing to curb your jealousies about other male friends. Keeping friends of both sexes is how good relationships last a long time. It's not only healthy, it's vital.

Oh - and stop snooping. Goodness. If she were here, I'd suggest that she dump you first.

[CravenMorhead]

You want her to admit that she's cheating on you? "I know. You know I know. Why don't you admit it?" Honestly She doesn't need to admit jack to you. I would just leave this and run far away. I don't think it is worth the possible drama.

[talaniman]

What'sWhat's the big deal since she is only doing the same thing to you as she did with the last guy? She did it with you and now she is doing it to you. Cheaters, Rebounder's, and Snoops, I think you are headed for a big fight no matter how you approach this!

What did you expect?