[littleluvmuffin]

I'm 17 and my fiancé asked me to marry him, I of course said yes. That was 6 months ago and I want our wedding before December but he's not helping me plan it. Should I be a crazy bridezilla or what? PLEASE HELP

[Curlyben]

Have you BOTH sat down and set a date ?

[Wondergirl]

I haven't ever known of a guy who got involved with planning his wedding. My husband-to-be always said, "Whatever you want is fine with me," so my mom and I did all the planning.

Why are you getting married so young? I was 21 and later wish I would have waited.

[littleluvmuffin]

Yes but now he doesn't want us to get married on that day. He's been complaining so much lately

[Wondergirl]

Yes but now he doesn't want us to get married on that day. He's been complaining so much lately

About what?

[littleluvmuffin]

Everything. Like how he doesn't want this or how he doesn't want that. I just want it perfect

[Wondergirl]

Everything. Like how he doesn't want this or how he doesn't want that. I just want it perfect

There's no such thing as perfect. Does he even want to get married?

[DoulaLC]

Is he perhaps rethinking the idea of getting married so soon? Maybe he would like a longer engagement to get to know each other even better. Did he give a reason as to why he no longer wants to get married on that day?

It is important to realise that often times the female has already thought about what kind of wedding she might like to have some day, perhaps even planned a good deal of in her head ahead of time! Men don't usually think of the details that go into it, and while some may have opinions on some of those things, many others do not.

It is also important to be very careful that you don't get married just because it sounds nice and romantic to be married or to have a husband. Is there any reason why you couldn't put it off a bit longer? Are you both in school? How old is he? Are there plans for college or trade school for either one or both of you?

A wedding should be something that you BOTH are looking forward to, even if a bit nervous about it now and then. If he is finding excuses or things to complain about it, he may be having some concerns as to whether he really is ready, but at the same time doesn't want to voice that to you so as not to hurt or upset you.

Please don't be a crazy bridezilla. To do so would just show a lack of maturity. If, by chance, he does want more time, then you will need to be mature about it, accept it, and understand it. That doesn't mean that you won't be upset about it, but how you handle the situation, if it were to come up, would say a great deal about whether or not you are actually ready to marry either. The vast majority of 17 year olds are not ready for marriage.

[odinn7]

Maybe...just maybe...you are rushing things and he now realizes you both are too young to be getting married.

[CravenMorhead]

It isn't unusual for men to get involved in this day and age. I have been married twice, and the first time was largely, "Yes dear, whatever you want dear, how much is it going to cost dear, that's fine dear." The second time it was a elopement and it was a dual planning.

Hard question time:
1). Why did you say yes? Did you say yes because he asked the question or did you say yes because you want to get married?
2). Can you picture, honestly, yourself with this man 20 years from now? 30 years? Hoard of kids? His annoying habits NOT changing?
3). How is this family going to function? How are your living arrangements? Living at home? Are you going to work? House work? Cooking?


A lot of this needs to be talked about and I got a feeling that your starry eyed self hasn't asked yourself any of these questions. Take a moment back and think if you're rushing this.

Also if you're just starting to plan for this December then good luck getting venues and the like. Unless you're wanting to elope you're going to have precious little luck putting it all together. I would be aiming for winter 2015.

Good luck.

[Fr_Chuck]

First, unless either you or him are rich, there is no fairly book wedding.

Even then, something, and I mean every time, something goes wrong, and that is laugh about in 4 or 5 years but tears day of wedding. I have been minister at 100's of weddings, and something, even if little always goes wrong.

Next you are 17 . How old is he? What type of job do you and he have. Who is paying for the wedding?

What type of perfect wedding do you want.

And of course the groom normally does almost no planning, he shows up at wedding, and gets married.

Sorry if you had some idea he would be making choices on colors, and foods, and places.

That is what your friends and bride maids do. (assuming you have those)

I got married, about 2 months ago. It cost more money than I make in two years.
But it was not perfect, problems with the AV equipment, ran out of liquor, started one hour late. One family member would not come.

So, what plans have you made so far, picked a place, and reserved it, picked a minister and reserved him ( all take money and deposits)

Also most of this requires contracts to be signed. At 17, at least in the US you can not sign for a contract yet.