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    suprasible01's Avatar
    suprasible01 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Jul 5, 2014, 09:27 AM
    Tired Of My Older Brother
    I need help with an older brother who has moved in months ago with me and my elderly mother. My mother and I both wrecked our cars and now depend on him for transportation. His car is full of hoarded items he refuses to clear away.
    He leaves his messes around on the tile floors. He has tried to fix things in the house, but usually fixes them so they don't work anymore.
    I got tired of seeing his dirty bare feet on the bare wood of the coffee table, so I moved the table a few inches away. Next time he sat down he complained I had moved it, I said he should use the built-in foot rest on the chair. He seemed surprised and offended and won't sit there anymore.
    I am really tired of seeing him just sitting around when he's here. It seems more peaceful when he's not around. I wish he would get employment, another place to live and move out for good.
    Jake2008's Avatar
    Jake2008 Posts: 6,721, Reputation: 3460
    Emotional Health Expert
     
    #2

    Jul 5, 2014, 09:36 AM
    You don't say how old you are.

    If you are not yet an adult, and even if you are, the house belongs to your mother, so it would be up to her to insist that he leave.

    With you and your mother having no transportation, and he is the go-to guy to get you and your mother where you need to go, why would you be so critical of how he maintains his vehicle? You don't need to live in it, just get a ride in it, right?

    He is unemployed, and many other millions are, and it was kind of your mother to allow him a place to stay- no doubt until he is back on his feet.

    And what about you? Are you home because you are also unemployed or underemployed, or in school?

    From what you have said so far, I can't see why you are so resentful of your brother being in the house.
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,490, Reputation: 2853
    Uber Member
     
    #3

    Jul 5, 2014, 06:58 PM
    So you wrecked YOUR car... why do you feel entitled to use his. Go buy another of your own. You mom can do the same instead of complaining about what he has of his in his own car. Who owns the house? Your mom? Or is it rented... this is important because it determines who gets to tell who what to do.

    Jake2008 raises some good points. It would help to know what the answers are to them.
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
    Jobs & Parenting Expert
     
    #4

    Jul 5, 2014, 07:03 PM
    How elderly is your "elderly" mother? Once your brother leaves, how will you and your mother get around?

    Jake and smoothy ask some good questions. Please respond.
    priyanship19's Avatar
    priyanship19 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #5

    Jul 5, 2014, 09:41 PM
    Hey, that's your older brother and you must be lovingly to him, you shouldn't say like that to him. He does such things because he must be tensed because of unemployment and the only thing you can do is to cooperate and encourage him. That's all I can say! Hope you understood...

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