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Kenjie · Jun 20, 2014, 05:54 PM

I'm lesbian. I have a partner for 6 years were working here in Hong Kong. She had her vacation for 21 days when she came back she's cold to me. I ask her if she found new one she said yes. I set her free and I notice her tummy it's big, I told her she's pregnant. She went to hospital for check up and it's positive. She lose the baby on her tummy because of work and now she wants me to stay. What will I do? Thanks!

smoothy · Jun 20, 2014, 06:51 PM

If she turned her back on you once... she will do it again. Are you ready for that to happen?

talaniman · Jun 20, 2014, 08:40 PM

She had to be cheating before she went on vacation don't you think? LONG before.

Fr_Chuck · Jun 21, 2014, 07:59 AM

I agree, she lost her new love, and wanted to keep what she had. She will be gone if someone new comes up

Jake2008 · Jun 21, 2014, 02:10 PM

She cheated on you, which is a significant breech of a long-term relationship. She chose to cheat, and to add insult to injury, she became pregnant.

How irresponsible.

Now she expects you to welcome her with open arms back into the relationship. I don't hear you saying that you are trying to get through the hurt and destruction she threw at you. THAT should come first. Stay clear of this one until you have come to believe that what she did, isn't likely to happen again. And to do that, you test her. Insist on counseling to get the cards on the table- meaning the truth of her activities, and she needs to own up to her lying and deception which, in itself, are bad character flaws.

Insist on at least six sessions.

Insist that she provide you with proof she doesn't have an STD. That too is a consequence of her behavior- it could very well put you at risk.

There should be very serious consequences as a result of her actions. You need to lay the foundation for what you will accept, and what you will not accept, and what decision you will make as to a reconciliation, AFTER she has met your demands of counseling, and health testing.

It doesn't matter what your sexual orientation is. Advice would be exactly the same.

Step up, and expect the best of your reasonable demands, but on the other hand, be prepared for her not to follow through.

At least you will have the satisfaction of knowing that if she can't step up, and lay her soul on the line, and try her best to change herself, you will know she isn't, after all, worth the effort.