[muffin55]

Hello,

I am in love with a man I've been seeing for 2 years. I deeply respect and admire him, and him me.

I have very few male friends, most of my friends are female. Probably about twice a year, I catch up with a high school male friend. We went to prom together as friends, because I didn't like anyone in the school. He used to have a romantic interest in me, although his personality is a big flirt with every girl pretty much. I don't like when he tries to flirt with me. I see him as a brother, and we usually talk about who we're dating with each other. I don't know if he still has an interest in me. But he called me since he's back from overseas and wants to catch up. I said I could get some coffee with him.

Since I tell my love everything, I told him my friend wanted to catch up - out of consideration for his feelings. He said "as long as I don't have anything to worry about...". He's been cheated on in the past. I told him he never has to worry about that with me; that's not something that is acceptable to me. I invited my love to come along, although he won't be able to due to his work schedule.

I also told him that this was a friend I went to prom with, who used to have an interest in me (my love responded "well, he probably still does!"), and is a flirt sometimes - I also told him I didn't like it when he tried to be flirty. My love suggested I simply tell him to stop if he acts like that.

Again, my love is my best friend and I tell him everything.

I am questioning now if I even want to catch up with this old friend - since it DOES make me somewhat uncomfortable when he acts flirty. Frankly, I think the old friend is more interested in maintaining contact than I am. Even though my love said he is OKAY with it, I am trying to think how I would feel if I was in his shoes.

After this conversation, we said good night and my love said "you are the one and only one for me" - which made me wonder if he is actually worried about me meeting my old friend? - which would make me feel terrible if he didn't trust me.

What do you think about all of this?

[talaniman]

I think you are letting your own fears and insecurities make you anxious unnecessarily, since its just a coffee with an old friend, and as long as you are cool calm and collected you will have full control of yourself no matter what happens.

If your guy was cool about it, why can't you be?

[Fr_Chuck]

Also, why are you not keeping up with old friend by email or Facebook ?

If you have had a new love for two years, surely your entire life with him is recorded on Facebook or somewhere. ** most peoples are.