[nantu]

Hi. I have had a relationship with a guy for three years. We discussed about this relation to our parents who agreed with us. We have had sex several times. But recently I came to know that he has an account in Facebook where he does sex chat with other girls. Its not only about the account but previously there were many lies that he had told me. I decided for a break up and even told this to my mom. Now the thing is he is not ready to leave me and he keeps callling me all the time. I blocked his phone numbers and my dad later asked him to concentrate on his studies. Now the thing is he not leaving me alone and he is sharing to all his friends about sex we had before. I don't want my parents to know this ever. Please advice me :'( I'm highly depressed after this.

[joypulv]

No one gets to say "I'm not ready to leave you." You broke up with him and he has to stay away. You don't say how old you are, but ask your father to tell him that if he bothers you even once again, he will call the police for stalking and harassment. If your parents find out about the sex, so be it - nothing you can do. Don't worry about that right now. A man who takes revenge by making your sex life public is despicable and not worth knowing. You can say "He is just saying those things out of anger about the break up" and it won't be a lie. It's nobody's business whether you had sex or not.

[smoothy]

joypulv said it quite well... its not HIS decision to make...

[talaniman]

Completely ignore him and don't worry about what he says to his friends. Any reaction you have to this messy break up will only bring you to his level, and escalate to greater heights. Hold your head up and don't be ashamed you are free from this lying cheating bully, and don't look back.

I am really torn as to if being honest with your parents (at least your mom) would be a wise course of action, not knowing the consequences you face from them, or your culture, which doesn't sound western at all. I realize that's at the heart of your depression from fear.

Breakups are bad enough without the added drama of the truth coming to light for all to see hanging over your head. I want to suggest that you and your mom talk, before this blows all out of proportion. Do you think her counsel would be helpful? Do you have a trusted friend you have confided in? I think going through this alone without emotional support is the biggest problem you face.

[Cat1864]

There isn't anything you can do about what he tells his friends or anyone else. I suggest that you talk to your parents and explain your side before they hear about your sex life from someone else. From your sentence about discussing this relation with your parents I have a feeling that you may live in a culture where a female is supposed to remain 'pure' and 'untouched' until marriage and it can be dangerous to admit to having sexual contact. However, it will be worse if he or someone else tells them. Take away the possibility of him attempting to blackmail you into staying with him.

I do not know what legal recourses you may have or if you are willing to go to the authorities. But you might consider looking into what it takes to prove he is harassing you if his behavior gets worse or dangerous.

Part of Depression is a feeling of helplessness and loss of control. Take back control of your life by blocking him and his friends on Facebook. Ignore and Block his number. Go about your life as though he doesn't exist. If you have to interact with him in public, be polite but impersonal. Keep your chin up and refuse to allow his games to tear you apart. It may not seem like it right now but you will get through this.

[Fr_Chuck]

You block his calls, if he is harassing you, perhaps your parents can call his parents about the problem.

You ignore him, don't talk to him, if he is merely telling the truth, about you, there is nothing you can do about that.

[carolmonroe38]

Keep a diary and list his actions, just in case he becomes violent or overly aggressive and you need to file a restraining order. Better safe than sorry.