[DIAMONDD88]

I guess I'm just looking for reassurance. I know what to do. I just want help and guidance really

[Wondergirl]

I just want help and guidance really

What do you plan to say to her (if you even plan to talk to her again)? What if she denies it all?

Why would you talk with her at all? Why not just walk away -- No Contact.

[DIAMONDD88]

She has denied doing any escort work. But to see pictures of her on the website is heartbreaking enough. With other input from here about how the escort job works and such are helping me to add things up and make things clearer.

[smoothy]

If you saw the photo.. on the agency website... and its clear enough you have zero doubt (meaning its not just someone surprisingly similar)... show class and walk away nicely... assuming that's your decision.

Showing class and walking away nicely without getting mean.. or nasty is easier on her... (she clearly DOES like you or she wouldn't date you) and you can sleep well and have a clear concience, and not feel bad about treating her badly.

Helps keep you from getting a rep for being a jerk. And also... keep her secret, odds are few people are aware of it.

[DIAMONDD88]

I have told someone about what she has done. I don't think I should be trying to keep secrets to help her. After she's hurt me. Am I wrong in doing that?

[Wondergirl]

You don't really want to be a gossip do you? Not saying anything is for YOU and your self esteem and social reputation, not for her.

[DIAMONDD88]

It made me feel better by bringing it to the surface after her efforts to hide it from me. I don't feel that I'm doing anything wrong

[Wondergirl]

It made me feel better by bringing it to the surface after her efforts to hide it from me. I don't feel that I'm doing anything wrong

Once it gets around that you talk badly about former girlfriends and reveal their "secrets," I'm guessing girls won't be too thrilled to date you because they will wonder if they will end up on your "list" someday.

[DIAMONDD88]

I'm not going around telling everyone. Just a certain person. This is still hurting and I'm trying to find out ways to overcome it

[smoothy]

Look at it this way... do you want to lower your standards and figuratively roll around in the mud? Its actually morally superiour to keep your head up and simply walk away.

Is it going to make you feel good if her mother and father find out due to your spreading it around? That's why I say that. Think about how they would feel.

Its also a lot easier to simply walk away.

I am in no way justifying what she is doing... just that sometimes its better to keep your standards than to give them up just to get some sense of revenge.

I believe it hurts. But its not exactly like she picked up your best friend at a party and slept with him. And its certainly not done for fun and for free.


No its not much different....but it is different.

[DIAMONDD88]

Both are betrayal. Whether for money or not. I understand why you say just walk away, and I am that way inclined. Im not aggressive or vindictive. I just feel that I haven't made anything up, she has done this all herself. Im not broadcasting it to everybody. Just felt good telling somebody about it before I found you guys

[smoothy]

When the hurt wears off... you will feel good you didn't go blabbing to the world. If she had gone around publicly humiliating you over anything... I would feel differently, but she hasn't.

[DIAMONDD88]

I think you might be right. When you're hurt you find it hard to find the right thing to do.

[talaniman]

I don't know how long you have been dealing with this female but I can understand the shock and hurt of your sudden discovery. I think you just calmly and honestly end it without drama, without letting the whole world know why. It just didn't work, but it was fun while it lasted. Now its over and in time reasons seldom matter.

I have seen relationships fail for less, and a few that endured through worse. Let the dust settle and gain control of yourself, and do what you have to do. I doubt if this is truly unexpected by her since she knew she was deceptive, for whatever reason, but if you can't handle it, you can't handle it.

[DIAMONDD88]

I guess if a relationship is too much drama like this, then its not worth being in it. Worried about std's now

[talaniman]

I would worry about that no matter what line of work she did. How long have you been together, and how old are you both, if I may ask.

[DIAMONDD88]

I stayed faithful to her. And expected her to do the same. We've been together for 9 months. She is 33 and I am 25.

[Cat1864]

I found out that my girlfriend is an escort by looking at the history on the computer. She is booked up with an escort agency with pictures of her on a profile. She must have been lying to me about where she has been going. I just don't know how to feel/think/act. Im confused..

Whose computer and why were you going through the History?

If it is her computer and you were checking what sites she has been to, then you already didn't trust her. Some part of you was questioning what was going on.

I look at this the same way I do all the other snooping and cheating questions we get. It comes down to trust. If you don't trust her for whatever reason, then you need to let go and move on.

You can try talking to her and getting her side of the story. You can ask her to give it up. She might. But even if she did, some part of you will always wonder what she is doing when she isn't with you. Some part will start questioning if the good friend was really at the gym with her or if that person was a client covering for her. Better to walk away before confusion becomes anger and things are said that can't be taken back.

You lose the moral high ground when you start telling other people. It is one thing to talk to a friend you trust who won't gossip as way to find your footing. It is another to tell someone just to hurt her. While you may not mean for it to get around, secrets like these can't help but spread from one 'trusted' friend to another.

[talaniman]

Let it go. She probably has been an escort longer than she has known you. Sucks but it is what it is and now you know.

[DIAMONDD88]

It's both our computer. The site came up on the search bar where you type the website in. I agree with what you are saying, cat. The friend at the gym was my good friend, I spoke to him personally on the phone. He wouldn't lie. The thing is, it's just a mess this relationship. Shouldn't have to be ringing up escort agencies to find out where my girlfriend is