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-   -   Betrayed.. confused (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=790439)

  • Apr 24, 2014, 11:36 AM
    DIAMONDD88
    Betrayed.. confused
    I found out that my girlfriend is an escort by looking at the history on the computer. She is booked up with an escort agency with pictures of her on a profile. She must have been lying to me about where she has been going. I just don't know how to feel/think/act. Im confused..
  • Apr 24, 2014, 11:39 AM
    Wondergirl
    Ask her.
  • Apr 24, 2014, 11:41 AM
    smoothy
    Well consider the significantly elevated risk of contracting an STD... no matter how careful she is.

    If you can't deal with her sleeping with large numbers of men, and most guys won't be able to. Simply walk away from her. But ask her and see what her answer is first.
  • Apr 24, 2014, 11:47 AM
    DIAMONDD88
    She says she hasn't done any escort work, just that her profile is up on the website. To be honest, that is bad enough for me. I have a lot of pride. Just wanted to get others peoples take on the situation
  • Apr 24, 2014, 11:49 AM
    odinn7
    She says that but really...why would she be on there if she hasn't done it? I think you know the answer.
  • Apr 24, 2014, 11:53 AM
    smoothy
    WHy would her profile be up there if she wasn't doing it... planning on doing it... or isn't doing it?

    Most women would be justifiably righteously indignant if one was posted using her picture.

    Some of those have phone numbers... did you try calling it to see if it rings when she is close enough to hear it ring?

    If it did... thats a slam dunk she's feeding you lies about it. THen what else is she lieing about?
  • Apr 24, 2014, 11:58 AM
    DIAMONDD88
    I called the escort agency to see if my girlfriend was working today (I didn't tell them that it was my girlfriend) and they said she was.. I then rang her to see where she was, and she said she was at the gym. My good friend confirmed this by telling me she actually was at the gym..
  • Apr 24, 2014, 12:39 PM
    smearcase
    You do know how to think, feel, and act but you are trying to somehow make yourself rationalize it and accept it. The old adage of what looks right might be wrong, but what looks wrong has gotta be wrong" applies here and in many other cases. Cut your losses, get out of the relationship OR accept it and both get tested, say once per week, and pray.
    Often, the first impression is 100% accurate and requires no further consideration. This is one of those instances.
  • Apr 24, 2014, 12:39 PM
    Oliver2011
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by DIAMONDD88 View Post
    I called the escort agency to see if my girlfriend was working today (I didn't tell them that it was my girlfriend) and they said she was.. I then rang her to see where she was, and she said she was at the gym. My good friend confirmed this by telling me she actually was at the gym..

    Honestly did you know the girl before she became your "girlfriend". Maybe you didn't know her as well as you should have. Learn from this and next time take your time knowing the person you want to be with on that level. It will save you from things like this.

    And honestly, the sequel, you might want to reconsider your path with this girl if you have to call an escort agency to find out where and what your girlfriend is up to.
  • Apr 24, 2014, 12:43 PM
    DIAMONDD88
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Oliver2011 View Post
    Honestly did you know the girl before she became your "girlfriend". Maybe you didn't know her as well as you should have. Learn from this and next time take your time knowing the person you want to be with on that level. It will save you from things like this.

    And honestly, the sequel, you might want to reconsider your path with this girl if you have to call an escort agency to find out where and what your girlfriend is up to.

    100% right
  • Apr 24, 2014, 12:58 PM
    Oliver2011
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by DIAMONDD88 View Post
    100% right

    Don't beat yourself up from this man. Just learn from it and never let it happen again. And never settle for dishonesty out of someone because you and I and the rest of us deserve better than that.
  • Apr 24, 2014, 03:24 PM
    DIAMONDD88
    Thanks everyone. If anyone else could put some more input into this I would be grateful. Thank you
  • Apr 24, 2014, 03:50 PM
    smoothy
    I've known a couple women who worked as escorts....they were friends who knew we well enough to confide in me, none of them would you have guessed did it....they were all mothers with nice homes in nice neighborhoods.... just because the Agency says they were "working" that day... doesn't mean they go to a specific office and sit there and wait like you might have seen in some movies... that means they are "on-call" if someone asks for them... they go about their daily business in the meanwhile.

    They were not streetwalkers giving $20 BJ's.....we are talking $600 - $1,200 per hour courtesans as they preferred to be called.
  • Apr 24, 2014, 04:08 PM
    DIAMONDD88
    I call them prostitutes or whores. I didn't know about how that worked. That makes things a little clearer for me.
  • Apr 24, 2014, 04:22 PM
    smoothy
    I'm glad I added that bit... was thinking about what you said about the gym and started thinking you might have believed she couldnt be working if she was there at the gym.

    Its been done that way since Beepers were invented... and with Cell phones... they can be anywhere before being called. Nobody would be sitting in a common office due to plausible deniability in case of a raid.

    Sure there are old fassioned whorehouses out there to be found... but those are the really cheesy ones, most likely with foreign women forced into the trade, many are addicts... who don't have ID's and frequently have no idea where they are. THey get raided and busted all the time... those are what you most often see on the news. THe lowest of the low are the streetwalkers... amazing but they do have a hierarchy... and a pecking order among themselves.
  • Apr 24, 2014, 04:39 PM
    DIAMONDD88
    I like you lot. Talking about it to people helps out so much. I'm usually reserved about issues I have. Feels good to vent out concerns
  • Apr 24, 2014, 05:06 PM
    smoothy
    The couple I knew actually was four... while being outwardly quite normal... did share a trait that was disturbing but it let them do that work... they have completely detached sex from love or intimacy... at a level few guys are even capable of. Being I wasn't dating them or sleeping with them... I've got to use my perception and judment from what they said and what I observed. I was also told they really don't talk with anyone else like that out of fear their familys and neighbors would find out... in at least one case the husband didn't now... how I don't know but that's what she said. And I was told they couldn't do that job if they didn't keep that separation in their minds. That I believe would cause serious issues... because how could you simply switch that on or off at will. And the most intimate times together to her would be lke going to the office. I don't doubt there are some NOT like that... I'm basing this off the less than a handfull I did know... (yes they did all know each other).

    Wife would have had a conniption had she known because they are all fairly local... one only a few minutes walk down the street (less than three blocks away).. but I wasn't sleeping with any them, and I certainly wasn't in the income range to afford their prices even if I wanted to. Actually if I was single I might have wanted to they were all quite attractive and pleasant... but I have a pretty good wife... so I never really considered it. I knew them a bit too well as neighborhood friends before I found out.

    I kind of distanced myself a while back from all of them... after I built an encrypted computer system for one of them to hide records after being begged to... I thought about getting implicated if she got busted... I decided pretty quick there were a LOT of down sides and not much of an upside to be seen.
  • Apr 24, 2014, 06:28 PM
    DIAMONDD88
    What would you guys do in my situation?
  • Apr 24, 2014, 06:32 PM
    smoothy
    If it was me... I'd walk away. I couldn't deal with it. There are a rare few guys who could... but I'm not one of them. Not with all the possible STD's that are out there. Its not 1969 and the summer of love any longer. I don't like sharing.
  • Apr 24, 2014, 06:32 PM
    Wondergirl
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by DIAMONDD88 View Post
    Thanks everyone. If anyone else could put some more input into this I would be grateful. Thank you

    What other input do you want? Seems clear as glass to me. Are you still hoping to give her an "out"?

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