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    NeB39's Avatar
    NeB39 Posts: 14, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Apr 3, 2014, 08:03 PM
    Misunderstandings between friends
    I have a friend who thinks I went behind her back and started spreading rumours about her to which I didn't. The thing is, there aren't even any rumours, she assumed there were since people were giving her funny looks (her imagination most probably). I was confronted with this but had no idea what she was talking about. This supposed rumours were things going on between her and I - the only person I told was another close friend of mine who has not told anyone. Well this confrontation was after she has already decided that I told everyone and she said some pretty nasty things to me. I tried to reason with her but to no avail as she was furious. I wasn't sure at first what she was mad about and floundered around helplessly and gave her the impression that I did do those things. When I realised what she was mad about, she could not be bothered already.

    I tried to to talk to her through her friends too but she isn't listening either.

    What should I do?
    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,794, Reputation: 2604
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    #2

    Apr 3, 2014, 08:20 PM
    Well you did tell someone, and that other person could have told someone else.
    Apologize and leave it alone. She will either come around or she won't
    NeB39's Avatar
    NeB39 Posts: 14, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    Apr 3, 2014, 08:50 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Homegirl 50 View Post
    Well you did tell someone, and that other person could have told someone else.
    Apologize and leave it alone. She will either come around or she won't
    The thing is she knows this close friend of mine knows just as much as one of her close friends does and nothing has been spread. She gave me a few names of people whom she thought knew but really don't. I already apologised when I thought there were rumours spreading but there aren't any at all.
    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,794, Reputation: 2604
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    #4

    Apr 3, 2014, 08:51 PM
    Well leave it be, she will come around or she won't. But you did tell someone else and you should not have.
    NeB39's Avatar
    NeB39 Posts: 14, Reputation: 1
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    #5

    Apr 3, 2014, 08:54 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Homegirl 50 View Post
    Well leave it be, she will come around or she won't. But you did tell someone else and you should not have.
    I did that because she did the same to me to her close friend. I thought that entitled me to share with my close friend too?
    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,794, Reputation: 2604
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    #6

    Apr 3, 2014, 08:57 PM
    No, when someone tells you something personal, they are telling you. If she wanted your friend to know she would have told your friend. Let this be a lesson to carry throughout life. When someone tells you something about themselves, keep it to yourself. If she wants to tell someone else, that's her choice to make, not yours.
    NeB39's Avatar
    NeB39 Posts: 14, Reputation: 1
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    #7

    Apr 3, 2014, 09:01 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Homegirl 50 View Post
    No, when someone tells you something personal, they are telling you. If she wanted your friend to know she would have told your friend. Let this be a lesson to carry throughout life. When someone tells you something about themselves, keep it to yourself. If she wants to tell someone else, that's her choice to make, not yours.
    Its not a personal thing of hers so much as it is a personal thing of what goes on between us. I am equally in part of the subject matter.
    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,794, Reputation: 2604
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    #8

    Apr 3, 2014, 09:08 PM
    It was still personal to her and you had no right to tell someone else. That was wrong. Own it and deal with the out come. Good friends don't do that to each other.
    She will come around if she feels she can trust you again.
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,298, Reputation: 5646
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    #9

    Apr 3, 2014, 09:10 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by NeB39 View Post
    Its not a personal thing of hers so much as it is a personal thing of what goes on between us. I am equally in part of the subject matter.
    Then it should have stayed between you and her. You never should have involved anyone else. This is how drama is created. As Homegirl said, apologize and move on. Take this as a life lesson.
    NeB39's Avatar
    NeB39 Posts: 14, Reputation: 1
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    #10

    Apr 3, 2014, 09:11 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Homegirl 50 View Post
    It was still personal to her and you had no right to tell someone else. That was wrong. Own it and deal with the out come. Good friends don't do that to each other.
    She will come around if she feels she can trust you again.
    I do own it but it is unfair isn't it that she can tell her friend about me? She is fine with my close friend knowing about us though she is more pissed about thinking I told everyone I knew.
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,298, Reputation: 5646
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    #11

    Apr 3, 2014, 09:15 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by NeB39 View Post
    I do own it but it is unfair isn't it that she can tell her friend about me? She is fine with my close friend knowing about us though she is more pissed about thinking I told everyone I knew.
    No, that's not fair. Life isn't fair. She should have kept her info to herself as well. This just goes to show how immature and overly dramatic she is.
    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,794, Reputation: 2604
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    #12

    Apr 3, 2014, 09:42 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by NeB39 View Post
    I do own it but it is unfair isn't it that she can tell her friend about me? She is fine with my close friend knowing about us though she is more pissed about thinking I told everyone I knew.
    All the more reason not to tell things to people someone has told you. I'm sure this will boil over
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #13

    Apr 5, 2014, 08:23 PM
    This is yet another post about the same girl who you got too close to and she flaked out on you. Keep wasting your time and being mad at her, instead of accepting she was a flake, or you may never get over it.
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,490, Reputation: 2853
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    #14

    Apr 5, 2014, 09:13 PM
    If only one other person knows about this... then there were two people who could tell a third. You and that other friend.

    I'm with everyone else... stay away from her and anyone like her.

    And also like was said.....Life isn't fair....so it's best that you get used to it.

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