[NYC122212]

So quite frankly, I'm a a$$. I should have ended things a while ago when I wasn't happy. But I stayed comfortable in this relationship and enjoyed the sex. I'm this girls first love, she liveed and breathed me. She put my life before hers. She's 22 and I'm 23. She left me recently after I found out she was abusing adderall pills again. I gave her the silent treatment on and off for a month. During this time, she's looking very needy. Hitting me up, trying to get attention and what not. After 3 weeks I start to miss her so I hit her back hoping we could work things out. She tells me I need paitence and its going to take time. The next day I send her roses to her office because I was doing things to show I'm going to be a better boyfriend not all talk. We were supposed to meet up that day to talk, but once the flowers arrived to her office she freaked out and told me she couldn't see me.

She made up excuses that didn't add up so I said you're not telling me something. She then confessed the last two weeks we weren't talking, she's been seeing someone she works with. This freaked me the out and there was NO Contact for 2 weeks. During this time, I begin to realize that I really did have it good and I was just acting like an **** for the past 6 months of this 2 year relationship. I also realized that I walked away from this girl when she was taking pills and she emotionally needed someone and I abandoned her, but she was quick to jump on another dude, but I still wanted her back, I could get over that part. Finally she contacts me on a Saturday and cusses me out about all my wrong doings, funny how she didn't own up to or even acknowledge her wrong doings. I accepted everything and apologized. I made it clear I value you her as a person and I value our friendship. She said she'll need to think about it and she'll contact me when she's ready. The very next morning she calls me and tells me how much she misses me and loves me and that this other kid aka the rebound means nothing. Funny because she calls me once she left this kids apartment. How ****ed up? Lol but regardless she told me that she feels like she's cheating on a marriage and feels horrible. I told her I don't want to be this dude on the side line, she said no, if anything that kids on the sideline.

She eventually tells me she wants to meet up tomorrow aka today. I agreed too, I plan on playing it cool being very neutral and acting as a friend. But my head tells me to forget this girl and just leave her out in the cold until she leaves this other dude. She's made things so complicated at this point. I'm not trying to give her the cake and have her eat it too. So what do I do? She is still texting me and it bothers me because I can tell she still cares and still loves me, she feels guilt for how quick she's slept with someone else and is trying to move on. This girl is a psycho but so am I so I don't care. I'm just lost man she tells me I continue to need patience in order for me and her to work. But I'm not trying to chill here until this realizes her rebound isn't going to work and then I become the next rebound. She is a totally flip flop. It's black and white. Tells me he means nothing but then is telling me she does like him but can't connect with him because she can't openly tell him about her past with drugs and eating disorders.

What the do I do? Help

[Homegirl 50]

You said she put your life before hers, sounds like you are putting hers before yours.
Leave her alone. Go no contact. She doesn't know what she wants and will jerk you along as long as you go along with it.
Be done with her until she is done with him and then think twice before you go back even then. This is too much drama for a relationship.

[odinn7]

This is tough because from the sound of it...you're both messed up. So what do you do....well, she's seeing someone. How much do you really mean to her if she hasn't let him go already? Then, how does it work out if she does dump him for you...you said she works with him so how will you handle that? If she is late getting out of work or needs to go somewhere or whatever...you're automatically going to be thinking she's seeing him still...and who knows, she might be.

On the other hand, some of the things you said about her and the way you treated her makes me wonder if she should even want you back. Honestly, I think both of you would be better off without each other.

[talaniman]

If you are a psycho, and so is she, then you just keep playing this psycho game, and she plays you and him. If you want to get your act together, and do better, leave her alone, and stop acting like a psycho yourself.

Your choice, your decision. Hope you make a good one.

[smoothy]

I'll keep it simple... an ex is an ex for very good reasons. And they should remain an ex for those very same reasons.

There are way too many other people out there to keep trying to fix something that's always been broken.