[LoneRanger]

I'm 20 year old guy started as a trainee intern on a surveyor farm. I'm being already told that I'm inefficient, incompatible for my job as a vast knowledge and experience is needed to carry out the job. Today I was told by an outsider that I know nothing and should quit. Well, he is right, I really don't have any idea. Slowly I'm losing interest in everything but as I got to plans ahead of paying my bills by my own, I got no choice but to carry on. This was expected; but a lot of things happened with me I never expected during high school.

I've decided to keep myself busy with some house chores which I never did before like washing clothes, shopping, helping my mom etc for only one reason; I want to be good at at least one damn thing. I'm tired of this modern city complexities and pilferages and a**hole people I see everyday in my job. I know that losing focus in my job or career will cost me big time but all I worry about that my youth is fading away very quickly. I've been brought up seeing miseries and I feel that my mind was so innocent and free. Every moment I feel that I've been put on the wrong place by god, i.e, I am not built for this bull.

Well, many people told me to have a relationship to end the loneliness inside me, but I don't think that would help, because I'm not boyfriend material and I don't want to ruin a girls life due to my miserable life [already somewhat ruined my moms life by being a retard son]. Yes, I am a day dreamer and a music lover; had ambitions of becoming a musician but no courage to go ahead. Some of close friends tell me that I'm a rare kind of guy who transforms when finds something that interests him. I know or rather fear that one day I'll be all matured and stuff but my life would be like a empty vessel floating through pacific going nowhere. Basically I've lost interest in living, because I see no aim of accomplishment.

I'm not expecting suggestions; I want to know my status or where this leads to. This is kind of early quarter life crisis. I don't want to regret later whatever I do. I'm open for a conversation about this, as this might be a distraction which I need at least.

[smoothy]

WHat is this "quarter life Crisiis" anyway... when was that dreamed up. Sounds like an excuse, because it is . Because there is no recognised thing as a quarter life crisis.

What you are trying to do right now is learn to be an adult. You are beginning to learn being an adult is doing what you have to do to survive... in time if you are lucky... you might be able to expand that to doing what you enjoy... as long as doing what you enjoy allows you to pay the bills.

Welcome to the real world. Being an adult in it isn't all you thought it was going to be right? Hate to burst your bubble but it was going to happen sooner or later.

At 20, unless you have a really petty little job a trained monkey could do...you aren't going to be all that knowledgable in it at 20....it takes YEARS to gain that knowledge and experience.....even if you went to college.

Maybe its not time to be in a relationship yet if you are having enough problems with every thing else.....you have plenty of time...focus on the important things first.....get those in order....then you have time to fool around with a relationship.

[DoulaLC]

If you are a trainee intern, why would they expect you to have great knowledge of the job? The whole point is to be learning it. Has the company given you someone to act as a mentor... a supervisor perhaps? If not, is there someone there that you could learn more about the job from? Is this the only job you could do in the area? Any possibility of a technical school, attending college, or another way to gain more knowledge in an area that might interest you?

As smoothy suggested, don't worry about a relationship now. You don't go into one to solve your loneliness. Instead, maybe focus more on learning about your job... or, if need be, consider a different job. Spend time with your friends. Enjoy some interests... perhaps some way of working music into the mix... or try something new. Force yourself to be a little adventurous, nothing lost if it doesn't go well, but you just might find something that you can get really involved in. IF you happen to meet someone who you become interested in along the way, great. A shared interest is often a good way to start.

You may have possibilities available to you that you haven't considered yet. Now is the time to try out some of those possibilities. It can take awhile to sort it out and find what suits you, but only you can take those steps in finding out.

[talaniman]

I remember well starting at the bottom and new at the job and the razing and mistakes that I made then and just the frustration of inexperience being overwhelming. It's a matter of time and applying yourself that will get you through this and earn the respect of those you work with. No doubt that eventually you will know what your doing and can be confident in yourself. Right now focus on the learning, and be grateful your mom is still supporting you through this because it could be worse.

Work at it, and eventually you will work through it, and be better. This is a pretty normal place for 20 year olds to be. We all go through this stage of our lives, and you are hardly alone. Don't quit on yourself in the face of adversity. There will be plenty of time for looking around at better options and opportunities to pursue your happiness once you have established and have faith in yourself.

It's rough, but doable.