[8785]

Hello.

I'm 23 years old boy from Mumbai and I'm gay. My problem is that now a days I'm having problem controlling my attraction for men's. Earlier it was not a problem at all. I get attracted to guys who pass by me while walking or traveling in the same coach of a train. I just can't handle staring at them and I'm very manly so they just wonder why am I looking at them and soon figure it out that I'm interested into them. As most of the guys are straight, afterward this embarrasses me. I know I may sound crazy or pathetic but I need help. I know I can only help it by avoiding it but I just can't do it. I need help so thought to initiate it by talking about it and chose this forum as I can't talk to the one who I already know.

Thanks for reading the entire thing and looking forward to get some help. I'm sorry if anything in my post hurt any body's sentiment.

Cheers.

[joypulv]

Your problem might be mostly loneliness as a gay man in India. Mumbai is a big city, so there are gay men there, and even India has more and more groups who are open about it. Find those groups. Keep searching online (but be cautious too).
When you are on a train, read a book or newspaper. When walking, you CAN force yourself to stop staring. Hum a song, recite poetry silently. People have all sorts of little ways to keep from causing embarrassment when they see someone they find attractive.
Answer back if you don't get anywhere finding a gay group near you. I'm sure there are gay bars too, but if you go to one, don't give out your phone number or address if you meet someone you like. Plan to meet in the daytime at a restaurant.

[Oliver2011]

"I'm sorry if anything in my post hurt any bodies sentiment..."

First off stop apologizing. You have nothing to apologize for.

Second - from one gay dude to another, there's nothing wrong with physical attraction and you are just a normal guy. So consider yourself normal and stop beating yourself up over this.

Third - at 23 you need to realize that physical attraction may get you an initial meeting with a guy, but it will be his inside beauty that keeps you there for years and years. So don't put too much into how someone looks on the outside. I know that is easier said than done.

Fourth - Be comfortable in your own skin. Accept yourself and love yourself. That will make others accept and love you.

I wish you the best.

[8785]

Thank you guys... :) And I agree to your answer I think it is out come of loneliness... I'm there on the dating sites and everywhere as well attend gay parties and events which comes up... I have friends good ones...
But I guess my this kind of behaviour is cause I'm subconsciously looking for solid and stable thing... :(
Will surely try the news paper and reading things I love reading so won't be a problem for me...
Thank you guys appreciate your kind reply... :)

[talaniman]

No need to apologize for hitting on a good looking guy and turns out he is straight. You will never know unless you initiate contact in some way, so don't be discouraged because it didn't work. Its not a bad thing to be rejected, but a shame if you didn't at least try.