[cuteangel12]

I am 25 years non-brahmin gal. I am in love with brahmin guy for past 3 years. We have not yet informed our homes about our relationship. We had lot of things to set right before we take our relationship to marriage. Firstly we had to settle down in career. Initially he had lot of trouble in career but now he is settled well in job with an average salary.

He does not come from a well off family. He is from a lower middle class family and his parents are very orthodox. They are not educated much and his dad was not in very good job position. Whereas my parents are educated and they are professionally in good positions. Both my parents are working. I am from a higher middle class family. He has lot of loans to clear apart from his education loan. In trying to make up his career and financial things we have strained our relationship. We planned many things and sometimes it failed and we used to fight regarding it. We both feel we have lost peace, happiness in these years because of the problems we faced. Or was there lack of maturity from both of us.

Now it's time I have to tell in my home if I want to marry him as my parents are willing to get me married. But the problem now is apart from the difficulty in convincing his parents with his financial situation, the relationship and our love has been strained. Sometimes we are feeling we are not meant for each other and there is no such feelings or love about each other left in both of us.

Please suggest me what we can do to come out of this confusion and take our relationship to marriage with parents wishes.

[joypulv]

I don't 'hear' you saying that it's still what you want to do? I realize that the strains of caste differences, family differences, and financial differences, have taken a toll, but you somehow have to take a deep breath and ask yourself (when he isn't with you) if you want to marry him.

Don't go by your age or how many years you have put into this, or even money. What do you want to do? Could you see yourself telling him that you no longer want to marry him?

[talaniman]

If you yourself are not sure and 100% committed, then there is doubt whether you can or should try to convince your parents. Maybe you resolve this between you before bringing this to them.

Talk and see if you can resolve the differences between you. Then you can deal with whatever the parents say together, as one.

[Fr_Chuck]

You should not have even entered in and considered such a relationship if you did not discuss with your family, if you require their approval.

No, there is normally no way to make them change their mind.

All you can do, is introduce him and let him talk to them