[d9mj8]

I have been married for 22yrs and we have 2 children aged 18 & 14.since at least 15 yrs that I know of my husband is addicted to watch porn on internet. We often used to have arguments about it but then after few years I found pages from porn magazine in his shirt pocket. When I asked he lied and said that somebody gave him. After that I often saw on his laptop various porn sites he visits and it got so sick that he was reading about a teenager having sex or father in law having sex with daughter in law. It made me feel so sick and we had a fight over it. After that he has started deleting whatever pics or sites he visits. At times when I'm away for few weeks he'll save movies or sites on his laptop and by the time I come back he deletes it. I'm very unhappy due to his this habit. Being a man I know he won't visit any counsellor or go for therapy. Pls help me out as I've started feeling very low about myself as anytime we go out to bars n clubs I see that he stares at all the passing women from up to down.. I feel ashamed sitting next to him. Pls help

[CravenMorhead]

Why do you believe that he's addicted? It isn't because he's a man that he feels that he doesn't need to visit a counsellor but that he feels that he hasn't done anything wrong or there's anything that he needs to see a counsellor about. I think he has a point and not because of bros standing up for bros.

How is your sex life? That's my first question. Is it still decent? How often do you two have sex? How often does he initiate and how often do you?

As well how is your erotica intake? Mental stimulation that gets you going? IE, romance novels, romantic comedies, and erotic literature (50 shades of grey).

How much time do you spend snooping for his Porn? You say that you're constantly check his internet browser history, how often do you do this? He also knows he can have any physical porn because the last time he had it you blew up on him so the electronic methods are the only that open to him at the moment.

I am trying to get a better idea of what is going on here but also trying to get some lights to go off in your head too.

Men look at women. Happily married men with what both partners would describe as an awesome sex life look at women.It is an ingrained biological imperative. It could be the waitress that bends over the right way or the woman walking down the street. It is hard to not look. There is also excessive, but I don't think he's reached that point.

As for the porn. So? The subject matter is a little concerning but not overly so. It isn't so much that he wants to live out what the story is telling but that he's pulling a seed of fantasy from the story. That thought for him is arousing, not the context but the primal feeling of it. He's just pulling the thoughts into fantasy so that when he rubs one off, which he is also doing, he has something to do it to. Does it mean that he will carry out what he had seen or read? Nope. Not in the least. He's just looking and whacking.

He is also hiding this because he doesn't want to piss you off. Which You are getting at a drop of a hat. You're snooping and regardless of if you find something you're going find nothing and still be peeved. Which really just shows a huge lack of trust and is leading this spiral downward. You've already decided he's guilty and trying to find evidence to prove that you're right. It's a witch trial.

So where do you go from here. First off stop snooping. As for the rest, I would like to hear back on the questions I asked above before giving more advice. I also want you to think about the intimacy within your relationship outside of the bed room. Is it good?

[d9mj8]

Why do you believe that he's addicted? It isn't because he's a man that he feels that he doesn't need to visit a counsellor but that he feels that he hasn't done anything wrong or there's anything that he needs to see a counsellor about. I think he has a point and not because of bros standing up for bros.


How is your sex life? That's my first question. Is it still decent? How often do you two have sex? How often does he initiate and how often do you?

As well how is your erotica intake? Mental stimulation that gets you going? IE, romance novels, romantic comedies, and erotic literature (50 shades of grey).

How much time do you spend snooping for his Porn? You say that you're constantly check his internet browser history, how often do you do this? He also knows he can have any physical porn because the last time he had it you blew up on him so the electronic methods are the only that open to him at the moment.

I am trying to get a better idea of what is going on here but also trying to get some lights to go off in your head too.

Men look at women. Happily married men with what both partners would describe as an awesome sex life look at women.It is an ingrained biological imperative. It could be the waitress that bends over the right way or the woman walking down the street. It is hard to not look. There is also excessive, but I don't think he's reached that point.

As for the porn. So? The subject matter is a little concerning but not overly so. It isn't so much that he wants to live out what the story is telling but that he's pulling a seed of fantasy from the story. That thought for him is arousing, not the context but the primal feeling of it. He's just pulling the thoughts into fantasy so that when he rubs one off, which he is also doing, he has something to do it to. Does it mean that he will carry out what he had seen or read? Nope. Not in the least. He's just looking and whacking.

He is also hiding this because he doesn't want to piss you off. Which You are getting at a drop of a hat. You're snooping and regardless of if you find something you're going find nothing and still be peeved. Which really just shows a huge lack of trust and is leading this spiral downward. You've already decided he's guilty and trying to find evidence to prove that you're right. It's a witch trial.

So where do you go from here. First off stop snooping. As for the rest, I would like to hear back on the questions I asked above before giving more advice. I also want you to think about the intimacy within your relationship outside of the bed room. Is it good?

Our sex was great till sometime back and now he doesn't want to have it as frequently anymore. 2nd I wasn't snooping I was looking for a file which he had deleted and that's how I got to know. May be he or you think that there is nothing wrong( May be you need to read my post again ) but reading porn about teenage girls or father in law with his own wife, I feel is very sick specially when one's own daughter is an adult now. I know men look at other female but then why they react so weird if a wife looks at another man?

[odinn7]

This has gone on for years and, after reading your older posts here, I can see that there is so much more to this than just porn by itself.

Here, in 2011, you admitted that you had committed adultery and he was filing for divorce...
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/divorc...ia-605179.html

Here, in 2007 you say he had a girl in a hotel room and then you continue on about the porn problems... same porn problems that you are talking about now, 6 years later...
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/marria...up-103359.html

So now... after all this mess between both of you (seems you are not completely innocent in all of this either), why not end the drama and the problems and just get divorced? All this time and you're still having problems... seems like it's just not going to work out.

[CravenMorhead]

Our sex was great till sometime back and now he doesn't want to have it as frequently anymore. 2nd I wasn't snooping I was looking for a file which he had deleted and that's how I got to know. May be he or you think that there is nothing wrong( May be you need to read my post again ) but reading porn about teenage girls or father in law with his own wife, I feel is very sick specially when one's own daughter is an adult now. I know men look at other female but then why they react so weird if a wife looks at another man?

You might think it is sick, but it is fantasy. Because you think it is suck, especially with his family, doesn't it make it so. Regardless of what you call it, or what you were doing, you were snooping.

Thanks Odinn7 for digging up that info. I am more inclined to agree with you and your post.