[vintage88]

My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and at first the sex was amazing, he always told me how attracted he was to me and we were having sex two or three times a night. He has always watched porn and I have never had an issue with it as I felt secure that he would always rather have sex with me than watch it, for him it seemed to be a boredom thing or a way to delay doing his uni work! Recently the sex has pretty much stopped, he has stopped initiating it completely and when I try to he says he's tired or that he has a headache (apparently he has had non stop headaches for about three weeks now... ) I could understand it if his sex drive had dipped a bit or if he really was just tired but he gets up before me every day, about 6:30am to go downstairs on his laptop and watch porn. He watches it at any given opportunity, if I go into another room he will be watching it on his laptop or on his phone. I don't know what to do, I feel so worthless and ugly that he would rather watch porn than have sex with me. I have spent so many mornings crying in bed knowing that he is downstairs watching porn. I have tried to talk to him about it but he says I'm being stupid or jealous.

I feel like he doesn't understand that I'm not against porn! I don't care how much he watches as long as he is still having sex with me! I feel so rejected and helpless I just don't know what to do. I love him so much but don't know how much longer I can take feeling like there is something wrong with me.

Any help or advice would be appreciated so much

[Fr_Chuck]

This is a problem, because he has replaced sex with you with pron, I will assume he is also masturbating ? You need to talk to him, not when he is watching it, but sit down and explain that you are not happy, you are not having any sex, and something has to be fixed.

As about counseling, but if he will not change, you need to consider at least a trial separation, to make him understand there is a problem

[CravenMorhead]

There isn't anything wrong with you. He's not doing this because you're ugly or you're not a good partner. The problem isn't you and don't hinge your self-image and self-worth on his issues. They're not your issues.

At first I was thinking this was one of the, "During the honeymoon period of our relationship there was TONNES of the sex and now it has dropped. Also porn. Porn is the reason." There is an expected drop in sexual activity after a couple has gotten to know each other. It might drop to a few times a week or even a few times a month depending on how life is going. This is a normal drop.

A few things, you two are living together? How long after dating did you two move in together. What sort of birthcontrol are you two using? Any new medications or substance abuse trends?

The conflict I am having is that I see some known libido reduction flags, i.e. being tired/exhausted, but there are some neglect too. I am trying to figure out if one has to do with the other or if there's an issue, or if Porn has anything actually to do with it.

I can explain this situation a couple different ways:
1). He's a normal man and needs to clean his pipes, a private moment. But with the pressures of life, intentional and not, he's not in the mood for sex. IE, stress, exhaustion, mismatched schedules, alcohol/pot problem. Deal with the issue to get the sex life going again.
2). He's wanting to dump you but doesn't have the balls to, so he will push you to your breaking point so you're the bad guy and dumps him because he's a coward.
3). He is getting family jitters. He's afraid of getting you pregnant.

There is more. So please a little more info.