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helpplease3104 · Sep 16, 2013, 12:24 AM

My brother is currently on probation and is living with my mother and father. Despite legal constraints, he still continues to drink excessively. Some nights, he comes home wasted and begins to emotionally and physically abuse my parents. He will also grab knives and threaten to kill himself, because he believes that he is mentally ill. My parents don't want to call the police on him because they don't want him to wind up in jail, believing that this will do nothing to rid him of his mental burdens. They can't send him to rehab because they can't afford it, and they don't want to kick him out for fear he will go back to heroin. For this reason, they enter a cycle of violence with him, constantly in fear for his and their own safety. I can't think of a solution. I no longer live with my parents or brother, but I feel responsible to help all of them find clarity and peace. Any ideas of a solution?

joypulv · Sep 16, 2013, 04:25 AM

Classic enabling. They MUST call the police and his PO, and arrange it for sometime like 4 am when he is asleep and unarmed, and they can let the police in quietly.

If mental illness is evident when he is sober in jail, the prison has to treat him. It won't be the treatment he needs, just meds, but he has to want to try to get help when he gets back out again.

Choices like this have no 'good' solutions. See if you can get your parents to go with you to an AA meeting if they won't do the above. Everyone in the room will tell you this and more.

helpplease3104 · Sep 16, 2013, 09:33 AM

Thank you for the reply. Right now it seems like the dust has settled, though this is very typical. Usually things will be okay, until the next sudden burst of violence. My parents appear to be delusional by the graveness of the situation, and continue to shut my requests down to seek professional help. I wish I could take control of the situation, but my parents refuse to do anything about it. It would seem appropriate to call the police and PO during the next violent act, but how about right now when things seem to be calm? Also, what if my parents don't listen or agree with any of my suggestions? Do I move on, or do I have the right to take legal action into my own hands by calling the police?