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tiredmomof3intn · Sep 8, 2013, 08:33 AM

Hello,

First of all, let me say that I am so glad that I found this site. I really need some help here. My husband and I have been together over 14 years, and I just recently found out after suspicions for a while now, that he has been carrying on an affair for a good while. He had filed for disability benefits in 2008, and finally after retaining an attorney, he is getting it finally. He states to me that they called him and informed him of this last week over the phone but he hasn't received a certified letter from SSI office though yet. First of all, can I call the SSI office and find out what rights me and my children have as far as income, and next, since we have been separated for some time now, although I haven't filed for divorce yet, can I get that information from the SSI office? Should I file for divorce now, or wait until he is awarded everything? I am afraid he will hide assetts and backpay money, he is very sneaky. We have two children together, ages 7 & 8, and I have helped him with everything and put up with all kinds of abusive crap for years. I have always had to be the one to sit on the sidelines while he made most of the money, and had to drop out of nursing school in 2010 to take care of the kids, because he wouldn't help at all with them for me to study. I will be finishing that degree once my divorce is final, yeah me, but I need the support financially now, as I have no income except a home based business that I do, which is not really steady income. Can I get half of the backpay, and do I have to prove the affair to get court ordered alimony as well? I need good advice, as I know he will spend all of the backpay if I don't make a move fast? Also, I have an older son that's in college, not his, but I really need all the financial help I can get until I finish my Nursing Degree. Please advise and help.

Thanks,

Momof3inTN

cdad · Sep 8, 2013, 10:25 AM

Since it is his disability you may not be entitled to any of it unless there is a claim of somekind. If you start proceedings now then you may start collecting child support and that can be claimed against it. Also do you know if he will be getting SSi or SSd ? If it is SSd then your children are entitled to a benefit from it. They will receive a separate check from social security and if the continue to college they will keep paying for a few more years.

Right now your best option is to file and get the process started. Talk to a family law attorney near you.