[lloranger]

I've been divorced for many years, and had some nice relationships but never met the right man to marry again. I finally went online and met a man last December and we dated about 5 months. Until things changed drastically.

Our dates had always been fun and we enjoyed each other's company immensely. He seemed to be really interested and caring of me and we had great emotional and physical chemistry. Our last date was 5/4, then he just stopped talking to me. After a few phone messages and a couple of emails, I finally sent one that said since I was worried about him I was ready to go over to his sister's to find out what was going on. I received an email response right away staying he was fine and working at a new job about 3 hours away! He had been looking for work and I knew there was a possibility that he might move. I emailed back to congratulate him and find out when we would next see each other... no response!

After a couple more weeks went by, I sent a final email saying explaining how hurt I was and that I didn't deserve to be treated in the manner he left me. I finally received a call late one Friday night from him and he said I scared him away! I'm confused because now he's apologized and wants to get back together. He said we need to take things slower and to just let things happen the way they should. I don't want to get hurt again if we do get back together. What do you think?

[talaniman]

I wouldn't waste time on a fellow who disappeared without a trace and you had to chase down. But then I never would have contacted him in the first place. If he were interested he would have stayed in touch and kept you updated.

For sure leave him alone now and see what he does after you disappear.

[N0help4u]

I'd tell him he has now scared me away.

[Jake2008]

I would give him another chance.

He was in retreat mode because he was likely getting overwhelmed with feelings and needed to breathe and think things through.

Yes, he should have called, yes he should have returned a text. But, I think it is safer to give this man a second chance, agree to take things slower, and learn to know each other better, over a longer period that is less intense.

That is not to say you shouldn't be without some boundaries. Let him know that you would expect that he can be honest enough with you, to tell you when things are bothering him, or he seems disinterested, or starts to pull away. Maybe he's never had a relationship that involves the investment of time and self.

If what you did learn about him was that he was a good person, had a good heart, and similar goals and interests in life, forgive this mistake, and try again.

[Homegirl 50]

I would leave him alone. He's not a child. What he did was cowardly. You contacted him not once but twice. If you had not contacted him, would he have contacted you?

[nanyananya]

If you ask me I think when you find out he or she is cheating on you