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concerned1234 · May 27, 2013, 07:44 PM

My daughter is seven and recently she has stated that she is sleeping in her dad and girlfriends room on visits. Is this right? I am not comfortable about it at all. What are MI laws on it?

jenniepepsi · May 27, 2013, 08:09 PM

If she is comfortable and OK with it, there is nothing wrong with it.
Legally there is no issue. There is no law about sharing a room. Parents cosleep/bedshare/roomshare even into teen years.

How old is she? Has she said she doesn't like it? Are they sharing a bed? How big is the room?

Why are you not comfortable with it? Has your husband given any hint of being abusive towards her?

concerned1234 · May 27, 2013, 08:14 PM

Originally Posted by jenniepepsi

If she is comfortable and ok with it, there is nothing wrong with it.
Legally there is no issue. There is no law about sharing a room. Parents cosleep/bedshare/roomshare even into teen years.

How old is she? Has she said she doesn't like it? Are they sharing a bed? How big is the room?

Why are you not comfortable with it? Has your husband given any hint of being abusive towards her?

I think it more the girlfriend and her and dad having fights in front of her. Seven. Small room and there are times they put hands on one another in front of her.

jenniepepsi · May 27, 2013, 08:19 PM

If they are having sex in front of her, THAT is not OK!

And fighting in front of her, while damaging, is not necessarily against the law in and of itself.

Have you spoken to her dad about it? Do they have another room she could be in? Maybe ask if she be in her own room? You don't even have to tell him that you are upset about this, just explain that you are trying to get her to sleep independently and it would really help if he enforced it at his place too.

teacherjenn4 · May 27, 2013, 08:21 PM

I'm not sure about the laws in MI, but I'd be concerned if she saw them doing any type of sexual act. At that point, it's absolutely NOT OK.

talaniman · May 28, 2013, 10:00 AM

While I could find no specific law against them sleeping in the same bed for a few nights on her weekend visits, seems a good fix would be her own mattress, the couch, or something along those lines. Being uncomfortable is not the same as illegal, but maybe the lawyers can find the specific laws and regulations about this.

Have you discussed this with your ex?

joypulv · May 28, 2013, 10:29 AM

Except in public housing, there are no laws in any state, as far as I have ever found.
Many states have a website with 'suggestions' about this, because people ask all the time.
It's important for you to keep your emotions in check in front of your daughter, so that she doesn't pick up on them. Fighting in a bedroom vs any other room probably doesn't mean anything to her yet, but it depends on whether she is trying to sleep! She probably goes to bed hours before they do, so I suspect they are waking her up.
And I imagine that even fighting couples have sex once in a while, and I would wonder if they think they are having it while she's asleep.
So all in all, I don't approve. I would write down your concerns so that you can keep calm, and send them in a letter or email.
Legally, not much you can do unless you want to go back to Family Court and see if they can rule on his custody arrangement.