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    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,298, Reputation: 5646
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    #21

    May 20, 2013, 10:09 PM
    Change is scary. I get that. Heck, I went back to college when I was 38, that's scary, when everyone else is 18-20.

    Yes, you need to wait a while. You don't need a guy to define you. You are at the prime time of your life! You need to be out there having fun, you don't need to be tied down.

    Like I said earlier, my daughter is going through the same thing. She's now spending the night with a friend who she hasn't had contact with in almost a year. Forget dating for now. You don't need a boyfriend, you just need friends.

    Yes, wait a while... a long while. Make a list of what you want out of a boyfriend and what you don't want. Date around without being serious. Don't have sex. Actually, refuse to have sex.

    You deserve to be treated like the princess that you are, don't settle for less.
    Insecuresenior's Avatar
    Insecuresenior Posts: 11, Reputation: 1
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    #22

    May 20, 2013, 10:18 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by J_9 View Post
    Change is scary. I get that. Heck, I went back to college when I was 38, that's scary, when everyone else is 18-20.

    Yes, you need to wait a while. You don't need a guy to define you. You are at the prime time of your life! You need to be out there having fun, you don't need to be tied down.

    Like I said earlier, my daughter is going through the same thing. She's now spending the night with a friend who she hasn't had contact with in almost a year. Forget dating for now. You don't need a boyfriend, you just need friends.

    Yes, wait a while.... a long while. Make a list of what you want out of a boyfriend and what you don't want. Date around without being serious. Don't have sex. Actually, refuse to have sex.

    You deserve to be treated like the princess that you are, don't settle for less.
    Thank you sooo much!! I was beginning to lose hope but you just helped me so much! I do need to get mentally fit before I date again! He was the cause of my depression:( I was never good enough to him when in somebody else's eyes there was nothing wrong with me! I suffered hard core! I'm a track runner not a body builder! He wanted me to be buff like him when track runners aren't buff they're cut! I just wasn't ever good enough! He was crazy
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,298, Reputation: 5646
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    #23

    May 20, 2013, 10:28 PM
    Yeah, he was crazy! Duh! He was crazy to cheat on a girl like you! You seem so sweet and wonderful, but he knocked you down. He's a control freak if he expects you to be like him. You are you. Plain and simple. You should never expect your partner to change. You accept them for who they are. If you can't accept them, then they aren't right for you.

    For now, have fun. Go out with the girls. Meet guys, but remember that sex isn't what makes a relationship. Pregnancy happens no matter what precautions you take. You don't want to be tied down to a boy who is not your soul mate for the rest of your life.
    Clemintine's Avatar
    Clemintine Posts: 105, Reputation: 30
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    #24

    May 21, 2013, 12:09 AM
    Got to sever the contact if you're serious about this. Unfriend them from social sites, and delete them from your phone, and if he's texting you too you would need to block him so as to not be dragged into it.

    Think about why you want to stop texting him, remember the reason every time you think about sending a text.

    I mean there's lots left unsaid in this question: How long have you been apart, what IS the reason you want to stop texting him, yadda yadda, but as my first reaction on answering your question this is my advice, and I wish you luck.
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,591, Reputation: 2941
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    #25

    May 21, 2013, 01:06 AM
    Why did you start a new thread? You received plenty of good advice yesterday.
    I suppose that continuing to write here helps... but the above responder took the time to answer without knowing anything about you, all over again.
    The answers are going to remain the same!

    What do you mean, get other people to text? HIM? NO, you do NOT do that!
    Get a grip girl. We all go through this. If you can't handle it as a teen then what happens when you are older, such as a young mother?
    This is what FAMILY and FRIENDS are for - to gather around you and keep you busy and resolved to stop contacting him.
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #26

    May 21, 2013, 06:08 AM
    J9, that's a sign of a female raised by a strong mother, a female with confidence and direction. Not everyone has that (unfortunately).

    Too many women out there need to "belong" to someone to have self worth.

    It's sad.

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