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hayleeplusgizmo · May 13, 2013, 05:59 PM

My mom spends a lot of time with my step sis. How do I talk to her about it and fix it?

catlady23 · May 13, 2013, 06:22 PM

Firstly, what is wrong with your mom spending time with your sister? Disregarding the "step" part, is she not your sister and your mom's daughter?

Talk to her, but maybe you should change your thinking first.

Wondergirl · May 13, 2013, 06:29 PM

Ask your mom about her childhood -- her favorite toys, games she played, her favorite outfits and her favorite foods. Ask her about holidays and how she celebrated and where she went for Christmas and Thanksgiving. Ask her about her first dates and boys she had a crush on.

Find a book that you want to read, then read it together with your mom -- maybe each read a page, taking turns. Then talk about what you have read.

Play card games or board games together. Put together a jigsaw puzzle with her.

Ask her what you can do to help around the house -- clean out some kitchen cabinets or help wash windows or mirrors. Cook or bake something together.

JudyKayTee · May 14, 2013, 10:06 AM

It's difficult being a stepmother, dividing your time between “natural” and “step” children.

How long has your stepsister been in your life? Is your Mom trying to build a bond with her?

Moms also need to spend more time with a certain child at times when one child needs more attention than another. It's a tough line to walk. On day this child needs extra attention. The next day it's the other child.

Is it possible for the 3 of you to do things together? Are you asked to join them? I love WG's suggestion about board games, family nights.

You can also tell your Mom you'd like more one-on-one time without sounding envious of the time she's spending with your stepsister?

Blended families are tough, very tough sometimes in the beginning, because you are strangers sort of thrown together. Everyone has to be very patient while the kinks are being worked out.

I think "natural" sisters can be a pain - stepsisters are pretty much strangers at first, and you are not used to sharing your Mom's attention.

Be patient and accepting. Your Mom will appreciate it, and it really is a kindness to the stepsister.

(I have 5 stepchildren, by the way.)