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TONdog · Apr 25, 2013, 10:05 AM

Okay, I'm 19 and my girlfriend is 13 soon to be 14. And, I'm having issues because, I have her mothers consent and she is the parent with custody. My issue is that her father the left and has had nothing to do with her for a very long time is trying to come after me and is threatening me with the law. I need answers please help

smoothy · Apr 25, 2013, 10:08 AM

Why can't you find an adult woman instead of a little girl. We call people with these sorts of tendencies pedophiles.

Unless you are in some third world country... no 13 year old can consent... and neither can any parent.

If that was my 13 year old daughter... you'd have a lot more than the law to worry about... the law would go far easier on you than I would as the father. And the law will only throw you in jail for statutory rape for many years... possibly even pedophillia... and you would register as a sex offender for life...

Oliver2011 · Apr 25, 2013, 10:18 AM

Amen. What stimulation could a 13 year old offer you in a relationship other than you being unlawful? So inappropriate. When is nap time?

TONdog · Apr 25, 2013, 10:18 AM

Originally Posted by smoothy

Why can't you find an adult woman instead of a little girl. We call people with these sorts of tendencies pedophiles.

Unless you are in some third world country.....no 13 year old can consent...and neither can any parent.

If that was my 13 year old daughter...you'd have a lot more than the law to worry about.....the law would go far easier on you than I would as the father. And the law will only throw you in jail for statutory rape for many years....possibly even pedophillia....and you would register as a sex offender for life...

Well srry if I was 20 or she was 12 I wouldn't of even thought about it but we grew up right next to each other for years there family knows me and I know them. But seems how you're a father and I'm not please explain to me what your feelings would be so I could possibly understand and maybe re evaluate my mind

Oliver2011 · Apr 25, 2013, 10:23 AM

"maybe re evaluate my mind"

That is step 1.

Have you imagined what you will look like in a prison jumpsuit?

smoothy · Apr 25, 2013, 10:25 AM

She is 5 years from being an adult... she isn't even close to being remotely on your level of emotional maturity... she shares more in common with an 8 year old than she does with someone even 15 much less 17 or even 19. Hell at 19 you don't even have much in common with a 17 year old.

There is a virtual casm. Why would it be any different at all if you was 20 or 40... and she was 12... 13 or 14 isn't really much different than 11... or even 10.

My thoughts... honestly if it was my daughter... you might turn up on a missing persons list to be blunt.

Just keep in mind... in prison.. pedophile has the same social status as prison informant, and protective custody or solitary confinement... is a hard and long way to do your time...

TONdog · Apr 25, 2013, 10:32 AM

Originally Posted by Oliver2011

"maybe re evaluate my mind"

That is step 1.

Have you imagined what you will look like in a prison jumpsuit?

Honestly yes I have and I'm not saying that to be a smart

ScottGem · Apr 25, 2013, 10:53 AM

Originally Posted by TONdog

well srry if i was 20 or she was 12 i wouldnt of even thought about it but we grew up right next to eachother for years there family knows me and i know them. But seems how your a father and im not please explain to me what your feelings would be so i could possibly understand and maybe re evaluate my mind

You shouldn't have thought of it ANYWAY. One year difference either doesn't change things. She is a child and you are an adult. Nothing changes that. The two of you are at very different levels of development.

Sure she is enamored of you, what 13 yr old wouldn't be flattered to have a 19 yr old bot interested in them. But she is too young to really understand her feelings and YOU are taking advantage of them.

As smoothy said she is legally incapable of giving consent nor can the mother agree, but that refers to sexual intimacy. The mother can give permission for you to date, but the father can still raise a stink. And if there is ANY sexual intimacy, you are headed for prison.

I cannot understand what you, as a 19 yr old, would see in a 13 yr old, even 14 yr old. You want a woman, not a child. And if you feel any physical attractions to her, then you need to have your head examined (literally).

If you really think the two of you have a future then wait 5 years until she turns 18. The difference between 24 and 18 is not as bad as 19 and 13. The older you both get the less the difference matters. But at your ages it matters a great deal.

Oliver2011 · Apr 25, 2013, 11:28 AM

Originally Posted by TONdog

honestly yes i have and im not saying that to be a smart

I believe you. I don't think you are saying or doing anything that is too smart at the present time.

odinn7 · Apr 25, 2013, 12:23 PM

So you asked for answers and help... like what kind of help can we give you? I honestly hope the father does come after you with the law... you need it.

Alty · Apr 25, 2013, 01:53 PM

At 13 she's a child. Even if you consider her mature for her age, she's not mature enough to make adult decisions. You're an adult. She can barely cross the street by herself, probably sleeps with a stuffed animal every night. She's in junior high, she can't vote, she can't even get a learners permit to drive a car. What do the two of you have in common? Nothing! Unless you're very immature for your age.

Bottom line, according to the law she's not able to consent to anything, not even dating. If her mother says it's okay, but her father says it isn't, then it isn't. If you continue to date her the father can make a lot of trouble for you. If you so much as try to kiss her, the father will be the least of your worries.