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mommabear20 · Aug 4, 2009, 10:20 PM

My son resulted from statutory rape, and the father has a drug and violence-filled past. There is no legal proof of parentage and I am afraid the father will try to hurt me or my son. I know he would never consent to adoption because he's a control freak. Because of all this, is there any way I can petition for my fiance' to adopt my son without his father's consent?

stevetcg · Aug 5, 2009, 04:51 AM

Not without legal proof of parentage. Paternity has to be established before an adoption can proceed.

cdad · Aug 5, 2009, 01:40 PM

Originally Posted by mommabear20

My son resulted from statutory rape, and the father has a drug and violence-filled past. There is no legal proof of parentage and I am afraid the father will try to hurt me or my son. I know he would never consent to adoption because he's a control freak. Because of all this, is there any way I can petition for my fiance' to adopt my son without his father's consent?

Was this rape reported to the police and was he then later convicted of it ?
Also why do you want to turn over rights to your child ? Are you having problems raising your child ? By having your fiancée adopt then you would have to give up your rights too. Is that what you want ?

mommabear20 · Aug 5, 2009, 01:47 PM

Originally Posted by califdadof3

Was this rape reported to the police and was he then later convicted of it ?
Also why do you want to turn over rights to your child ? Are you having problems raising your child ? By having your fiancee adopt then you would have to give up your rights too. Is that what you want ?

No it was not reported. He was my boyfriend when it happened and when I found out I was pregnant I broke up with him because he started to become violent. I don't want to turn over rights to my child, I meant my fiancé adopting him as the father so my son can have his name. I would still have the rights of mother. I want my son to have the last name of the man who will raise him with me when we are married. My son just turned one so I wanted to do it early in his life.

cdad · Aug 5, 2009, 05:28 PM

Originally Posted by mommabear20

No it was not reported. He was my boyfriend when it happened and when i found out i was pregnant i broke up with him because he started to become violent. I don't want to turn over rights to my child, I meant my fiance adopting him as the father so my son can have his name. I would still have the rights of mother. I want my son to have the last name of the man who will raise him with me when we are married. My son just turned one so I wanted to do it early in his life.

It doesn't work how your thinking. You would have to be married ( in many cases for at least 1 year ) before any such adoption could take place and you not lose rights. Otherwise you would be giving up your child to a single man.

Why haven't you taken him to court and gotten child support started ?

Fr_Chuck · Aug 5, 2009, 07:45 PM

I will come a little hard, it may be rape because you were underage but you were dating and picked him to have sex with. He was fine to date and have sex with while he used drugs and was violent, but now ( and I agree) you don't want your son around him.

But please don't try and make it sound like he "did this to you" and you are the victim here, You made some very poor and bad choices and now have to deal with them.

For your new husband to adopt, you will have to get him served with paternity paper work to require DNA tests.

You will have to file papers and have a court hearing to take away his rights.
This will be very hard in most places unless he will sign it over.

There is no way to do it, without his knowledge you are doing it.

mommabear20 · Aug 6, 2009, 02:02 PM

Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

I will come alittle hard, it may be rape because you were underage but you were dating and picked him to have sex with. He was fine to date and have sex with while he used drugs and was violent, but now ( and I agree) you don't want your son around him.

But please don't try and make it sound like he "did this to you" and you are the victim here, You made some very poor and bad choices and now have to deal with them.

Actually, he did rape me. I cried "no" and tried to push him off me. It WAS rape. It is my fault that I trusted him when he promised me it wouldn't happen again and then it did and I got pregnant, but the sex was not a mutual decision.